


Ever-Light

by Kahnah



Series: Solar Queen & Dark God [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Dark God Ryan, Freewood - Freeform, God Michael, M/M, Sequel, Solar queen gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-01-31 10:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21444451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahnah/pseuds/Kahnah
Summary: The Dark God and his Solar Queen reign peacefully over their shared world. With the third God appearing they have to face new challenges.Sequel to After Image
Relationships: Gavin Free/Ryan Haywood
Series: Solar Queen & Dark God [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545997
Comments: 49
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

_ Ever-Light _

Chapter 1

The temple of the Solar Queen was an impressive building. Standing in the middle of an ample flower field, it towered over the few scattered trees. The walls were made out of smooth black crystal with specks of gold in them. When the sunlight hit them - which was most of the day - colorful rays would paint pathways towards it.

There were pilgrims waiting in front of the temple for an audience with the Solar Queen, some who had traveled across most of the world just to be close to this holy place. Occasionally the Solar Queen would allow them inside but most of the time they were camping outside and quite happy with that. Being this close to one of the Gods of the world was honor enough and there were worse places and ways to live.

Ryan didn’t pay them any mind as he walked past them. He didn’t care, not after being so long away from this place, from home. The humans just scurried out of his way, he preferred it like that. He wouldn’t have waited for them to move.

The heavy wooden doors of the temple were open and allowed the sweet scent of the flowers inside, along with a single lucky pilgrim.

The man stared up to Ryan at his entrance and then quickly fell to his knees, which made him wonder why he hadn't been on his knees in the first place. These walls were holy but Gavin had always been too laid back about things like this.

"D-dark God!" the man squeaked and pressed his face into the carpet. The carpet was golden in the light and soft to the touch. Made to resemble a field of wheat in the height of summer.

A little army of priestesses worked every night to keep this place spotless; from this very carpet to the high walls, and the stained glass dome above him. Hopefully the helpless blubbering of this man wouldn't make their work harder, but honestly, that didn't really matter.

Ryan stepped past the nuisance and looked up.

There he was, at the back of the temple. The Solar Queen was lounging on his throne, looking quite bored, and once again: appearances. Ryan would've never let himself be seen by humans like this, but he should be used to this behavior.

Now though, Gavin sat up; and his golden eyes filled with mischief when he recognized Ryan.

That was more like it.

"Dark God," he called and couldn't quite keep his smile out of his voice. "Please step forward."

As if anything could stop him after so long apart.

The Solar Queen's throne was exactly ten steps above them and normally every living soul would be struck down for the blatant disrespect of nearing their Queen like that, but Ryan was allowed to. Even if he'd doubt it for a second, the way Gavin stretched out his hand for him was invitation enough.

He took the other's hand the moment he could and for a while they just stood like that, indulging in the feeling of the other. Gavin's steady warmth that was sinking down his skin and back into Ryan's bones. Interesting, he actually hadn't thought he had lost so much of it. Before leaving for his journey Gavin had made sure to fill his pockets with his light orbs and more often than not Ryan had let them warm his fingers.

Shaking himself from the memory, he bowed down to kiss the back of Gavin's hand and could hear the other chuckle.

And oh, what a picture they had to make! The man still cowering behind them now surely would have some stories to tell about the Dark God bowing! But to see Gavin smile? It was worth any rumor; not that anyone would believe it.

As always, Gavin was a sight to behold. The golden strands of hair were sticking out in between his crown of sunflowers, not the perfect picture of a God, but nobody would see this little imperfection beside Ryan, and Ryan gladly took the opportunity to brush the rebellious strands of hair aside. He would kiss the spot he had just uncovered but that would go too far, not with this nuisance on their knees behind him. So all he did was lay a hand on Gavin's cheek and rubbed a thumb over his skin. It made his eyes glow that were still looking up to Ryan, not even trying to hide his amusement. His whole body glowed which was good because Gavin was wearing a gown of white silk. Ryan brushed his hand against it and sure enough, it was barely more than a breath of fabric and surely sheer if it weren’t for Gavin's own light that illuminated it from within.

By the way Gavin smirked up to him that was completely on purpose and Ryan could already feel the dark jealousy come over him. To think that Gavin was sitting here dressed like this and for all those pilgrims to see- oh, but that was of course exactly why Gavin had done it and Ryan quickly swallowed the ugly emotion back down.

"Go ahead and finish what you started," Ryan told him with a nod toward the man behind him. "We can talk afterwards."

Just like that Gavin's smirk fell into an immature pout and Ryan had to stop himself from chuckling. Maybe Gavin knew how to rile him up, but the same went for him.

Letting his hand drop from Gavin's cheek he went passed him.

Right behind Gavin's wooden throne was another one, set back to back and made out of Ryan's dark crystals. He let himself sit down right there and didn't have to hide his own smirk when he heard Gavin behind him huff. Two could play the teasing game, and over the past centuries they had perfected it.

After a moment to compose himself, Gavin did continue to call the man forward, who then proceeded to stammer some doxology towards Gavin, and that was the point when Ryan stopped listening.

It was way more enjoyable to watch the temple than to hear the same words he had already heard countless times. Honestly, he was pretty proud of the architecture of the place. Gavin had given him a rough idea of what he had envisioned and Ryan had instantly called forth the most accomplished architects in the world and started working on it. Granted, most of it was his own doing. The dark crystal walls reached high into the skies but he had allowed the humans to craft the dome. It was an impressive piece of art, a huge stained glass dome that showed the journey of the sun from east to west, with the full moon shining right above Ryan's head right now.

During midday the dome would shower them in all of its colors, and even Ryan had to admit that it was a breathtaking sight to behold.

He was a bit too late for this today but he would get his chance. He wasn't as often here as Gavin, which was of course because this was the temple of the Solar Queen, but it wasn't like he wasn't welcome.

They were just playing on their strengths here and Ryan was better at working behind the curtain. Sitting here to face the humans left him shuddering at the thought alone. Even Gavin grew tired from it and often left the doors closed. Then he faced the prayers coming to him that were usually more urgent than the desires of the pilgrims outside.

Meanwhile, Ryan could focus on the further development of the world, which was also the reason for his long absence, though calling it a long absence might be exaggerated in context. He'd been gone for roughly a year, which all in all wasn't long for them, but it was also the longest time they had been apart since Gavin had joined him.

It had been necessary to pursue his new project but during those first few days, it had been unusual. He had missed Gavin's presence, the steady warmth the other emitted and his mind. The different point of view Gavin offered.

After Ryan got into his work, the time had passed quickly enough now, and he felt excited to show Gavin the result of all his hard work.

By the sound of it, he wasn't the only one. Ryan wasn't always here when Gavin welcomed his believers inside but often enough to know that the other was rushing the man, uninterested in all those flattering words he received that only got short answers in return.

When the man finally fell silent, Gavin asked him to leave, and he must have also given the priestesses a signal because Ryan could hear the heavy doors fall shut. It didn't dim the light in the temple, of course not with Gavin shining at his back, and Ryan waited with a smirk until they were completely alone.

Sure enough, Gavin was peeking around the corner a heartbeat later.

"Ryan, you're back, Ryan!"

"Looks like it."

And Gavin full out beamed at him. With the stupid grin on his face and without his golden eyes, he looked younger, not so much like a God and more like... well, his Gavin. The boy who had walked to his castle to face him.

The boy he had fallen for and Ryan could feel himself grow softer.

This was something only he was allowed to see, the green of spring in the other's eyes, an expression that wasn't just serious but honest.

Ryan didn't even fully manage to stand before Gavin jumped at him, his lanky arms wrapping around his middle and his face buried in his shoulder.

"I missed you," Gavin murmured, and Ryan hugged him back.

"I missed you as well."

The reaction was instant. A blush started to bloom over Ryan's skin wherever they touched and even his clothes were colored golden by Gavin's proximity alone. It was intentional because Gavin had mastered his powers enough to keep them in check, but Ryan didn't mind it. Quite the opposite, he had grown fond of it over time and now he closed his eyes to let Gavin warm him to the core.

That was something he could easily get lost in, just like his research, and so he couldn't tell how long they stood there, embracing each other. Long enough for Gavin to get antsy again, which didn't mean much.

There was a warm kiss pressed against the corner of his lips and then Gavin began to shake him as if to wake him up.

"So that means you're done, right? It was a success?"

"I thought we were having a moment here."

"We can have moments later." And now Gavin was actually jumping up and down in excitement. "You gotta show me! I've been waiting so long, come on!"

With a sigh Ryan allowed him to wiggle out of his embrace but he couldn't pretend to be properly annoyed. Not by the way Gavin jumped down the steps and then turned around to wait for him with a smile on his face.

Yeah, he had finally come home.

"This is it then?" Gavin asked. The playfulness from before was gone, not only because there were still some people around but because Gavin was intrigued.

He stepped towards the box on the table, one foot by one foot large and shiny. He looked back at Ryan and when he nodded Gavin dared to touch the smooth surface. He was careful not to taint it.

"Your idea with the mirror was actually the key to getting it to work," Ryan explained and made sure that everyone heard him.

There were some scientists around who carried all his equipment inside the castle. He had worked together with them for the better part of the year to polish their new invention and as always when he was close to people, he kept on catching some of their thoughts. Like right now when Gavin had stepped inside they had found him naive and childish.

They should be in awe instead, drop to their knees and be glad for the opportunity to be this close to the Solar Queen. A part of Ryan wanted to punish them for their disrespect, but that would upset Gavin and he wanted to avoid that on such an important day. Also, he had grown accustomed to those ridiculous thoughts while he had been on the islands in the east, one of the few areas in the world where the Dark God was more popular.

The least Ryan could do was to make sure they knew that it had been Gavin's idea in the first place. Maybe the Solar Queen wasn't a God of Mind but that didn't mean he wasn't clever.

"It turns sunlight into energy then?" Gavin asked, unaware of the thoughts from the scientists around.

"Not nearly as much as the reactors," Ryan couldn't help but point out. A little jab from back when he had called Gavin's idea ridiculous, but Gavin didn't even bother to rise to it.

"You developed the reactors over the past few decades; if we do the same with this thing it will also produce more energy. This is only the prototype, Ryan."

"Solar panel," he informed Gavin. "That's the name."

There was a buzz of negativity coming from some of the scientists around but who cared when Gavin finally looked up from the mirror, to smile at him. A sweet smile that was usually reserved only for him. Those humans should be in awe at even having the opportunity to experience it.

"That's sweet," Gavin just commented. "Also a way better one then your reactors, might I add."

"The reactors were the most logical invention to develop this world further."

"That might be, but this is the next step." Gavin put a hand on top of Ryan's chest, warming him through each layer of clothes and down to his heart. "It's prettier and better for the environment and once we-"

"The Dark God knows exactly what he's doing." It was one of the scientists that dared to speak up, and the woman should be glad that Gavin already had a hand on him to hold him back, otherwise she would've just dropped dead on the spot. As it was, Gavin just turned towards her, and under his golden gaze, all her courage faded.

"Humans shouldn't interfere with the business of Gods. It's a topic that's going way over your head."

The woman actually dared to open her mouth at the insult to her intelligence but was apparently smart enough to leave it like that. Better for her, because Ryan wasn't as forgiving as Gavin and it was only thanks to him that she would see the light of another day.

"Can you hook the solar panel up? We could run some tests?" Gavin asked like the whole instance was already forgotten. Insignificant in the grand scheme of time and not worth more than a moment of attention.

Gavin could be cruel in his own ways and Ryan had always adored that dark side of him.

"Let's go to the lab. We can hook it up there."

Gavin woke in the exact moment as the sun peeked over the horizon. It had been like this for as long as he could remember and he couldn't pretend that it didn't feel like home. The familiar light shining in through the window, the blanket kicked down in his sleep, and his orbs gathered on the ceiling.

Granted, it had been a spell since he had woken up in their farmhouse, but he kept this feeling close to his heart. Now the ceiling above him was bleached in pastel colors thanks to him, and not light wood. Even the direction of the window was slightly wrong but this was home now.

Instead of Geoff and Jack waiting in the kitchen, ready to start the day there was Ryan next to him. That hurt for a second, barely more than a heartbeat, but it was a sweet pain. Geoff and Jack weren't walking this world anymore and Gavin had mourned them, but time had eventually healed those wounds. All he had to do was continue to keep them in his heart, because some things just had to happen, and just because their bodies were gone didn't mean their souls weren't somewhere out there.

Ryan didn't believe that because nothing in his books hinted at that, but Gavin knew it anyway. He was a God of Hearts and there was a certain kind of knowledge to that.

But Ryan was still here, and turning around, he had to smile. The Dark God was still deeply asleep and Gavin could bet that it was the first time in over a year that Ryan had even thought about sleep. When he was working on something it was nearly impossible to get him away from it and Gavin knew they technically didn't have to sleep at all, but he liked it. To dream and simply relax was refreshing every once in a while, even more so when he could get Ryan to join him.

Yesterday they had talked. They had talked through the remainder of the day and most of the night because there were a thousand things to share from their time apart and they would continue to talk in the coming days and weeks. It had felt good.

Things were already changing with Ryan back and Gavin was glad for it. His own presence bleached everything he had been around for too long, even the dark crystal and some rooms in the castle had been nearly blinding. Now he could already see how Ryan's aura dimmed down the walls of this room, the one up in the tower that had been a prison so long ago. Now it was just theirs and for no one's eyes but theirs.

Ryan was also changing, and that was more bittersweet. Yesterday, when Ryan had stepped into his temple he had enjoyed the other's moonlight skin, now it was already almost gone again. Gavin could run his fingers over tanner skin everywhere he had touched the other. From his face and his chest and down to his hips.

It was a kind of mark Ryan would love to leave on him and Gavin didn't exactly mind, but he didn't have to change anything about Ryan to know that the Dark God was his.

Ryan's brows furrowed and Gavin let him go. He wanted the other to sleep as long as he could even if it meant hearing Ryan complain about it later. It was rare enough to see him this vulnerable, even for him, and he watched his share before deciding to get up. There were some things he wanted to take care of before he and Ryan would end up talking again.

Throwing on his gown, he left Ryan to sleep for a while longer while taking care of his own business.

The castle was an adaptable and mutable building; shifting subtly the moment Gavin had entered it long ago. The moment he had decided to work with Ryan, however, had made it nearly unrecognizable from its beginning, the library with its endless bookshelves and his chambers being the only things left untouched. Nearly every unused room was gone, just a few in the back Ryan kept for ‘future reasons’ as he put it. Even the ridiculously long table was removed eventually. Probably because Gavin had teased Ryan endlessly about it.

His little garden had been extended. Before it had been hidden in the back of the castle, boxed in by high, black walls, but now the castle stopped at the edge of the garden. Instead of a chimney-looking area, Gavin stepped out into a wide field that went further than he could see.

It was one of his bigger projects and the one he was most proud of. There were different fields for all kinds of plants stretching towards the horizon. Close to the castle, there were the pretty flowers, the lilacs and daffodils he would sometimes pluck to bring Ryan, but further away grew the more sturdier plants. Herbs to cure sickness and wounds. Out here the gardeners worked. The people here were devoted to him and worked steadily under his guidance to keep the plants healthy. Gavin didn't check on them much because he had handpicked his gardeners and knew they were the best in their fields, but there was no denying that his presence helped the flowers grow faster.

"G-good morning, Solar Queen!"

"Jeremy," he greeted the other, amused by how fast Jeremy dropped to his knees, rake still in his hand. "I hope you're doing fine."

"Of course! After all I am allowed to be in your presence!"

Gavin laughed a bit awkwardly. He would never get used to such flattery, but he could feel that Jeremy had a good heart. He also knew that Jeremy was still nervous about being here, simply because he was the only one who hadn't come here by Gavin's request. Instead Ryan had found him on his journeys and had brought him here, which was unusual in itself. Gavin hadn't minded, but it was clear that Jeremy was more devoted to the Dark God than to him, which was fine by him. Only that Jeremy was set on making sure he had no ill will against the Solar Queen.

Gavin would like it more if Jeremy would just drop this act, but there was still time for that.

"Actually I was looking for-"

"Gav!"

Jeremy looked horrified at the casual greeting but Gavin couldn't help but grin when Ray appeared from in between some bushes.

"I figured I saw your big light show wandering around."

"Hey Ray."

Ray had been born in this very garden. His parents had both worked here and even his grandparents had. Gavin could still remember how his mother had kneeled by the castle, asking Gavin to bless the newborn child.

Maybe because of that Gavin had kept a closer eye on him than usual, but he couldn't say he minded. Ray was fun and even though his overly casual way of speaking to him drove Ryan mad, Gavin found it refreshing.

"Jeremy, stand up, you're crushing the soil. What's the point in scattering it everywhere if you crush it right after?" Ray grasped the other and pulled him to his feet, apparently without noticing the horrified look on his face.

Gavin had to stifle a laugh.

"Did you come to check on the last delivery?" Ray asked him, and Gavin nodded.

"Did everything work out?"

"Absolutely, but let me show you the reports. If you have some time, the beets might need you to wave your hand above them for a bit if you don't mind. They are not looking so good."

Ray guided him through the labyrinth of fields until in the middle of some sugar cane a small cabin appeared. There was a table with some chairs around and the woman taking a break there quickly got back to work with a bow when she saw them coming. Gavin wanted to tell her to wait but knew that it wouldn't help.

All those people would work until they fell down dead if he asked them for it; he had seen the colorful sunflower branded on her skin. A sign of his most devoted followers and something Gavin didn't know how to feel about. It had to hurt to get these colorful pictures, and he preferred people like Ray, who just had sunflowers stitched on his clothes and occasionally flowers braided in his hair.

Today he had a row of crocuses over his brow, each in different color, and Gavin had to smile upon seeing them. They looked cute.

Ray looked around until he found the letter and showed it to Gavin. One of Gavin's jobs was to distribute the herbs growing here. There were always places in this world that needed their medicine, places during war times and cities that were fighting against sickness. Gavin had dabbled in healing powers for a while but hadn't quite gotten the hang of it. His light could soothe the mind and give new energy to the body, both things that could help in the healing process, but it would not save a dying man.

One day, Ryan had told him: his powers would develop further with each world but he couldn't hope for miracles like that. A God of the Body was more suited for that, and Ryan had sat him down to tell him about the woman he had met in the world before. The God of Health and Prosperity, who could take aches and broken bones away by a simple thought.

Gavin wouldn't be able to do something like that, but this was one way he could help. With the plants and medicine produced here, he had made a start.

“The delivery is working fine?” he went on as he folded the letter and handed it back to Ray.

“There have been no incidents. One was delayed but that was because of bad weather.”

That was good. In the beginning there had been issues with people actually stealing from the herbs Gavin had sent out, but with less people sick, it had lessened over time.

“Perfect. In case anything comes up, please let me know immediately.”

“Let you know? You act like I’d just walk up to the castle and knock on the gate,” Ray huffed. “I don’t like how the Dark God looks at me whenever I see him. I heard that a simple glance from him and I could fall over dead.”

“Funny that you assume he’d need a glance for that,” Gavin muttered and then quickly backpedaled when he saw how Ray blanched. “I mean, he wouldn’t! Just… you know, just take one of my messengers to contact me! You’ll be fine then!”

Ray was still watching him in distrust and Gavin couldn’t even blame him for it, so he just said his goodbye and made his way back. The truth was that Ryan was keeping a closer eye on some people here, Ray included. Not because of any ill will towards them, but simply because Gavin kept them close and actually knew their names. Ryan had been right; humans died and that hurt, so Ryan didn’t bother with them. He probably knew the names of the scientists who had helped him build the Solar Panel, but not much more.

Gavin wasn’t quite there yet.

He liked people, and those who shared a love for plants with him, he kept around to work in his garden. He treated them well and yeah, sometimes he came down here even if it wasn’t really necessary. Just to talk or to watch them, to show himself.

It made some nervous, like Jeremy, but others were brusquer like Ray, and Gavin loved both kinds. It would hurt to see them go, and that was what Ryan was scared of.

Gavin reached the field of sunflowers close to the castle and stopped.

Geoff and Jack had died as all humans did. That was a cycle Gavin knew too well, and he had known it would happen, he had seen it coming with each passing year and still-

Memories were vivid for him, most of all those he kept close to his heart, and unfortunately those weren't only the nice ones. It was his burden as a God of Heart, just like Ryan could catch thoughts out of thin air, and sometimes Gavin could get lost in it.

The scent of wood and bread hanging in the air in the farm house, still well maintained because the farm had been Geoff's and Jack's pride and joy and when they had grown too old to do the labor, Gavin had taken care of it.

He stayed there for a few months because his heart had known that the time was coming, even if he didn't want to face it. Ryan had paused his training, had assured him that Gavin could call him anytime he needed him, but Gavin had wanted to go alone. It should've been like the beginning, like his childhood, and he had made sure that nobody stepped into the house beside them. Just like in his fondest of memories.

Geoff had died first; Jack had followed within the week and Gavin had sat at the table, completely alone with only the light of a single candle. He had waited without knowing for what.

A hand fell on his shoulder and back in the garden, Gavin jumped. It was Ryan, just like back in the farmhouse. He hadn't called for him even if he'd known he should, but his lips had been sealed shut in his mourning. The sun that just wouldn't rise had however betrayed him, and so Ryan had just sat down as well, changing the candles when they burned down. He had given him the time until Gavin could let the sun rise again, an endless four days later.

Nowadays his emotions didn't influence his powers to that extent anymore; Gavin had better control than that.

"Are you missing them today?" Ryan asked him, his hand still on his shoulder and Gavin nodded.

His chest felt tight and his mouth dry, but he had learned to deal with that and instead of hiding away, he allowed Ryan in. The Dark God flinched a little when Gavin's emotions crashed into him, but he let it happen, searching in his thoughts until he found what was gnawing on him.

"It's alright to still miss them."

"They are now longer dead than they were alive," Gavin whispered.

"That means nothing. Death isn't important, right? You aren't mourning them and mourning and missing are two different things." He squeezed Gavin's shoulder and then delved even deeper. Gavin let him and had to smile. Ryan was talented in many things, things Gavin still discovered after all this time that left him in awe, but digging through memories wasn't one of them. He was clumsy, like a child digging in sand that got irritated when a wave filled the hole again.

In the end he found what he was looking for though and when Gavin closed his eyes he could see the sunflowers again. This time they were high above him though because he was a child and the flowers had been the roof of the world when he was running through the field. They filtered the sunlight golden and here, nothing bad could happen.

Jack was in there with him somewhere, watching over him and Geoff was waiting in the farm house with a new story. The air was heavy with heat and the humming of insects was all around and he could smell the freedom and childhood, something so precious that his little soul couldn't even grasp it. But it had been his and nobody could take that from him.

Ryan's hand traveled in between his shoulder blades and the movement woke him from the summer dream. It wasn't all lost though, because in front of him were sunflowers, turning their heads towards him like they always had.

Yeah, that was still there and always would be.

"Do you feel better?" Ryan asked him, and Gavin nodded.

"I do. Thank you." He turned away from the flowers for now and instead looked up to Ryan.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I slept through the morning," Ryan muttered, an accusing tone in his voice that only made Gavin grin.

"That means you needed it."

"I do not need sleep and you know it. You should've woken me when you got up."

"I didn't though," Gavin reminded him playfully and moved past him to get back into the castle. "Come on then. I want to enjoy some tea together."

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who is that?"
> 
> "The third God of this world."

Chapter 2

Ryan was bent over the plans for the solar panel when the buzzing feeling reached him. He straightened up and stared at the dark crystal walls. The library didn't have any windows like the rest of the castle because this was still his realm and his alone. Though he wasn't going to see the disturbance anyway, at least not with his eyes. Instead, he searched for it with his mind, further and further away from him. There on the other side of this world, he found it, high up in some snowy mountains where only beasts resided and the occasional madmen who figured he could hunt them.

There was a crash behind Ryan then and it took him too long to truly realize it. Coming back to his body he turned around to find Gavin, who had just stepped into the library. The mugs he had carried were both on the floor, one broken and spilling tea everywhere. It had to burn his toes, but Gavin didn't seem to notice.

No, the Solar Queen was searching as well, eyes golden and his glow strong enough to hurt. Ryan avoided looking directly at him and was rather glad that it happened here, where Gavin could hurt no one. Ryan had seen him blind people as a punishment or simply because he hadn't paid it any mind.

Emotions were dangerous for Gods of Hearts, and Gavin had learned to keep a tight grasp on them, but not now. Now Gavin's face was drawn in confusion as he tried to find the disturbance.

When he did, he frowned.

"Who is that?"

"The third God of this world."

Like a switch being flipped, Gavin's glow faded, and he stared at Ryan.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Come on, don't step in the shards."

He took Gavin's hand and helped him to step over the broken mug before leading him towards the plush seats in the library. Gavin wasn't even paying any mind to it; he was turning around, facing east where the buzzing feeling originated.

"What are they doing here?" he asked and Ryan had to push him to sit down.

"They will help us work on this world. You know that there will come mo-"

"Help us?" Gavin interrupted him and Ryan fell silent. He had sometimes thought about how Gavin would react to a new God by their side but he had always imagined him excited. Gavin was always excited about new things but he appeared downright agitated.

"We don't need help!" He huffed. "The two of us are doing fine. We  _ know  _ we're doing fine! The world is prospering and now they will come here and fuck it all up!"

Ryan reached out to place a hand on Gavin's leg but the other just shook him off and stood again. Pacing restlessly with his gaze towards the eastern mountains.

"You knew this would happen eventually."

"But I figured it would be when there's a problem! When things aren’t working out or we screw up!"

"It's not a punishment," Ryan reminded him. "They are here to give us a new point of view, a way to shape this world. They are here to help."

"To help?" Gavin blurted out. "We don't need help! Everything is working out!"

Now Ryan also got up and touched the small of his back. Gavin was tense, nearly shaking with it and when Ryan prodded, Gavin didn't let him in. Thankfully he had learned enough about emotion to figure it out on his own.

"You are... scared?" he asked anyway because that didn't make much sense to him but Gavin just pressed his lips together.

"What is there to be scared about?"

"I don't want them here."

"You don't- Gavin, you knew this was supposed to happen."

And now Gavin's mask slipped a little, an insecurity that only Ryan was allowed to see. "Did we do something wrong? Have we made a mistake?"

"No, Gav. This isn't a punishment." He rubbed his back and felt how the other relaxed slightly. "It's something good, alright?"

"It means we aren't good enough to look after this world. That this person will come an-"

"It means that our world has grown so much that there's space for another God," Ryan interrupted him softly. "Our people are ready for the change this God will bring."

"I don't want change," Gavin said but his voice had grown quieter. "Things are going fine, we don't need anyone to change it."

"Change doesn't have to be bad, you know that."

"I don't want to share," Gavin blurted out and then hesitated. He seemed to think about his own words before breaking into nervous laughter. "Oh dear, listen to me! I sound like a child!"

Ryan smiled as well and it grew wider when Gavin did let him in again. No, the Solar Queen wasn't scared.

"You're nervous? That's understandable."

"What if this God is a bad one? One of the warlike ones you've been telling me about?"

"Then there's still two of us to stop them."

Oh, and Gavin's eyes were so big at that moment, even his hands were shaking slightly. He was overwhelmed and that was fair.

Ryan also hadn't expected this, not so soon. Of course he had known that more Gods would come, that was inevitable, but he had enjoyed this time alone with Gavin. Their own little world and they had done fine. The world was healthy and growing rapidly and it was fun. More fun than any other world had been and now things would change, there was no way around it.

That change was something they could control though.

"This is still my world," Ryan reminded him. "I'm the creator God, alright? And you are also at my side. No matter who this God is or how powerful they are, unified we are stronger. Don't you believe that?"

He cupped Gavin's face, and even though the Solar Queen was uncharacteristically pale, he at least smiled again.

"I do believe that," he whispered and wrapped his hands around Ryan's wrist. His fingers dug in to feel his pulse, to familiarize himself with the rhythm of his heart again.

"Good. How about I'll get us some new tea and we'll talk about what will happen next." He got up and made to leave the library when he heard Gavin again.

"Ryan?" His voice was quiet, laced with an uncertainty that squeezed Ryan's heart. It reminded him too much of the beginning when he had kept Gavin trapped here and how young the other had been. He still was, his centuries nothing but seconds in the grand scheme of things.

"You and I. That won't change, right?"

He gently tipped Gavin's head back so that the other was looking at him and not down at his own hands.

"Never," he promised and leaned down to press a kiss against Gavin's lips. Gavin's hands came up as he clung to him, keeping him close and Ryan knew that right then and there, in this scary world Gavin was just getting used to, he was all the Solar Queen had left. His only form of home and so he stayed there for a moment, brushing his nose over his cheek and breathing in the other's breath.

"I won't let anyone come between us," he went on, and Gavin's fingers dug into his shoulders. "As long as you'll have me, I'll be your moon and stars in the night."

"Was this God just born?" Gavin asked the moment Ryan stepped in again.

"No, they are an older God. I don't think I've ever heard of a world with two new born Gods in it." He handed Gavin his tea and with a steaming hot mug between his hands, he already looked calmer. He had obviously taken a break to sort himself a little and Ryan had done the same.

For all his nice words, he was nervous as well. Sure, he had known that another God was coming just like Gavin had but this whole situation was still sudden. Also this was his own world, the first one he had created from scratch and no matter what he had said; he still felt weird about having another God here.

It had been similar on the day Gavin had been born but not to such a degree. Gavin had been young and Ryan had time to prepare for Gavin to come to him. This God here had more experience and even though Ryan knew his world was healthy and developing at a fantastic pace; he still feared being judged. Surely there were imperfections, there were wars and sickness and horrible people wandering the lands; this wasn't a utopia.

Though compared to some other worlds he had been apart of one could consider it nearly so, but it was only his sixth world he had ever experienced. Who knew what this God would think of it?

That wasn't important, after all it was Ryan's world and he could build it however he wanted to and he had built with his best intentions, still-

"Do you know them?" Gavin asked, and Ryan realized he was just staring into his tea.

"They don't feel familiar, so no, but that doesn't mean much. I haven't met that many Gods yet."

Gavin nodded to himself and looked around. There were still the shards scattered around from their first try on tea and he frowned.

"We should clean up. They'll appear soon, right? Ryan, your clothes are all wrinkly, Ryan."

He went to straighten Ryan's collar and was shushed away.

"Leave it, it's fine. I highly doubt that they'll just stroll in here."

"Bu-"

"They'll look around," he explained and thought of his own time in new worlds. Sure, he had felt the other Gods and vice versa, but never had he thought of just running to them. No, seeing the world out of his own eyes first was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

"First they'll acclimate to this world, the climate and culture. Sure, they could learn all of this here, but that's not the same, right?"

Gavin thought about that for a moment before he nodded. He was a lot calmer now and without any sudden visitors around, he leaned back in his seat.

"So they'll just... walk around and stuff? Shouldn't we greet them?"

"They'll come to us when they're ready. That could be in the next weeks or in years."

"Years?"

Ryan shrugged. "I myself got lost for nearly a year after I got to a world once. I needed to learn about them through untainted eyes."

Gavin looked very unimpressed at that. "You found some form of library and had to work through it first, didn't you? You made the other Gods wait just because you were curious."

"Listen, I am the God of Knowledge an-"

"It's rude, that's what it is. They were probably watching you, preparing some form of speech or whatever and you just sat in some dusty library-"

"It was a modern knowledge distributio-"

"- and ignored them. Some Gods might've checked on you and you just waved them away!"

"You have no way to prove that."

"Oh, I don't need any evidence. I know you well enough! You didn't even greet them at all during that time?"

Ryan decided against answering that. It wouldn't do him any good anyway, so instead he just cleared his throat.

"What I was meant to say-"

"Is that you forget everything around you when you find a-"

"-we don't know when they will approach us. We'll just have to wait."

Gavin was still watching him, the cup of tea untouched in his hands before he sighed.

"Fine. Alright."

"Don't worry. I'm sure they'll show up soon."

It sounded so easy the way Ryan said it. Wait until the new God showed up, try not to watch them like a creepy stalker and figure out what kind of person they were. Possibly panic. Plot with Ryan what the next steps were.

Gavin failed step one.

By the end of the week, the God still hadn't shown themselves and Gavin was fucking useless. He wasn't patient in the best of times and Ryan's talk about how a week was hardly a long time didn't help in the slightest. A week was a bloody eternity when all he did was wait for something to happen and if this new God would take any more time, Gavin might just go insane. A whole year? Yeah, he'd just end this damn world himself if that's what it would take.

Not really of course, he would sneak out and search for them himself if he had to. He could, technically. On the other hand that would mean facing some new person that was older and more experienced and freaking knew what they were doing. Gavin wouldn't get a single word out, so yeah, maybe ending the world or causing some sort of catastrophe to get this person over would be a solution.

Also Ryan was getting annoyed with him. Probably because Ryan had done this before, Ryan who just continued to work as if nothing had happened and just told Gavin to do the same. Which sure, yeah, that made sense but he just couldn't.

This new God was something he couldn't just ignore, it was like something stuck in his eye that was irritating him and he couldn't get it out.

"What are they even doing out there?" Gavin whined for the sixth time this week. Or the fiftieth, he didn't keep count. Ryan didn't either because the Dark God chose to ignore him.

Ryan had hooked the solar panel up to his computer and was doing... something. Something that usually would intrigue Gavin but not right now. Right now he was sitting on the counter of Ryan's little lab space, next to a couple of test tubes with a green liquid in them. He picked one of them up and began to stir the liquid. It started to bubble. Huh.

For a moment his mind was actually at peace and he pressed a finger to the bottom of the glass to heat it up. The liquid turned a dirty gray and then hardened. Quickly Gavin stopped but it was already too late.

Turning the test tube around, the liquid was now stuck no matter how much he shook it. Oops.

Throwing a quick glance to Ryan who still was occupied with his computer, Gavin thumbed the test tube against the counter, hoping to loosen the not-liquid or something and promptly broke the whole test tube. The bottom half hit the floor and shattered completely and Gavin froze.

Ryan sighed and finally turned around, completely unaffected by Gavin's sheepish look.

"Please don't." Ryan just said before taking the remaining test tubes and placing them out of Gavin's reach. "Isn't there something to take care of in the garden?"

"The garden is doing fine."

"What about the pilgrims by your temple. Surely you can busy yourself there."

Gavin groaned at the thought of sitting there for hours, listening to people kiss his ass. He could feel that nobody waiting there had any serious issues. Most people with serious issues didn't have the time to walk half way through the world to meet him, they had more urgent matters. No, most of the people there were Believers who just wanted to pay homage or something to him.

Sure that was sweet and all but certainly not what Gavin needed right now.

"Let me help?" he offered with a nod towards the solar panel instead.

"I asked for your help yesterday and you said that was boring," Ryan reminded him and opened the backside of the solar panel to reveal neatly labeled wires.

"Well it's not boring today!"

"But I don't need your help right now."

Pouting Gavin kept on staring at Ryan, hoping to soften him, but no chance. The man was already bent over the panel and had already forgotten that Gavin was even there.

At least that was something to work with and with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, Gavin slipped down from the countertop. Coming up behind Ryan, he wrapped his arms around his middle and basically draped himself over the other's back.

"You let your hair grow," Gavin told him. "I like it better like this. It's really soft."

Ryan answered with a hum, which wasn't quite what he had hoped for but alright. He wasn't quite done yet. Nuzzling against Ryan's shoulder still didn't get a rise out of him but when Gavin leaned ahead to kiss his throat, Ryan finally looked up from the solar panel.

Gavin allowed him to turn around in his arms and already closed his eyes but the only kiss he got was a chaste one against his forehead. That wasn’t according to plan.

Even worse when Ryan took his shoulders and began to guide him out of the lab.

"Go and search for something to occupy yourself with, alright?"

"I know exactly what I want to occupy myself with."

Okay, that had been an awful response and thankfully Ryan didn't react to it.

"I'll just keep an eye on the new God then!"

"They'll notice you right away. Spying on them won't make for a good first impression."

Gavin groaned when he was pushed out of the lab. Fine, Ryan was right on that one, not that Ryan had any right to after he had spent a year reading upon coming into a new world. The other thing was that Gavin didn't want to face the new God alone, that sounded awkward and he would like to avoid that.

"You're blowing things out of proportions," Ryan told him. "When you were born I waited two decades until you came around."

What a horrifying thought! Gavin would surely go insane then!

"Technically you came looking for me on my 18th birthday," he reminded Ryan.

"Fine. I'll give you the okay in eighteen years then."

"But Rya-"

Before Gavin could protest further a wall of black crystal appeared to work as a makeshift door, locking him out of the lab.

"Really?" he called and kicked against the crystal, knowing it would do shit all.

"I'm working, Gavin," Ryan's voice came from the other side. "Go and occupy yourself for a while."

Gavin pouted but considering that Ryan didn't see it and he was just staring at his own reflection, it wasn't really working out. So after a while longer when Ryan still didn't lift the crystals, Gavin gave in.

He might as well check out the temple then. It was better than just lingering around here.

One of the priestesses greeted him when Gavin appeared in the temple. As always the space was spotless and with the low sun sending in its light, everything was painted gold. Even after a couple of decades, Gavin found himself still in awe at this place.

"Should I open the doors, Solar Queen?" the woman asked, her eyes cast down and her head slightly lowered. She had been here for quite a few years now and wasn't as formal anymore. That was good, nothing was weirder than stepping in here and watching everyone sink to their knees to greet him. Something he still wasn't used to.

"Not yet," he answered and with a nod the woman disappeared from the hall, giving Gavin the chance to breathe.

Opening the doors meant letting in the pilgrims and he wasn't quite in the mood for that. Right now he just wanted to enjoy the peace of this place and as he walked up to his throne, he couldn't help but smile.

His throne had been a gift from his old village. Sure, he knew nobody from there personally anymore. The people he had grown up with had long since passed away but his story was carried on and when they heard about his new temple, they had begun their work.

The throne was made out of different kinds of woods and Gavin was a bit sad that his light had by now bleached all color from it. It looked as white as marble now but he could still feel the texture of it, the warm feeling of the forest around the village. He hadn't been allowed there often; it was mostly outside of the protective barrier the elders had drawn for him and there were stories of wolves and bears nestling there.

Not that those animals would ever hurt him, but back then Gavin had believed in too many lies. That was just another one.

Now there were pictures of bears and wolves and birds and rabbits carved in painstaking detail into the wood, all the animals around the village had found a space and the flowers as well. There were vines moving up the sides and each bloom was of a different shape. Up on top were, of course, his sunflowers, crowning his head once more.

His fingers ran over the smooth lines as if he had to remember the shape.

Ryan had grown stupidly jealous of this throne. Not because he wanted one himself, Gavin was pretty sure Ryan would just put it in one of the empty rooms of the castle if he got one, but because he had planned his own throne for Gavin.

The dark throne was made out of the same black crystal as the rest of the temple and together with Gavin's light, it would create even more rainbow reflections, the sharp spike-like crystals on top gave him a gloriole and Gavin had to admit himself that he looked... well, threatening sitting upon it.

The throne was beautiful and awe-inspiring, but something for a God with way more experience than him. He could imagine Ryan sitting upon it, his cold blue eyes watching everything attentively and his expression never changing as he judged over his world.

An imagine befitting of the Dark God of legends, the saturnine demeanor that was expected from him and not the Ryan that only Gavin knew, that he would catch stuffing donuts into his face when he thought nobody was looking.

Yeah, Ryan's throne for him had been beautiful, but not the right one. Still, Gavin had placed it right next to him in the beginning because that was where Ryan belonged, but Ryan had just shaken his head.

"This is your temple," he had told him. "This is the temple of the Solar Queen, and the people come here to see you. Me sitting next to you would only scare them."

So the throne had wandered behind Gavin's, out of sight for the people coming to see him but still there. His shadow and protector, and if Ryan came around, he would sit there right behind Gavin and watch the world like the God he was.

And Gavin had been right, Ryan looked divine sitting there when the sun went down and tinting everything in royal purple. Yeah, sometimes Gavin loved to just sit by his feet, head in Ryan's lap to watch him while no one was looking. When all there was was the ending day and the beginning night and Ryan's hand in his hair.

The gate opened, sending in bright sunlight and Gavin looked up with a frown. The same priestess as before stood there and he was just about to remind her that he had especially asked not to open the gate yet, but there was someone next to her.

An intruder? No, Gavin was too fine tuned for that. He could feel humans with bad intentions coming close way before they were a problem.

"Gav-" The priestess noticed her own slip up and flushed bright red. She sounded nervous but not scared. "Your Divinity, this person demands to see you. Should I-"

"It'll be fine," the stranger said and slipped by her and into the temple. When they looked up to Gavin, he froze on the spot.

Old.

This person was old, way older than him or Ryan. No, against their age they were barely more than seconds old. It didn't show on their face, they were as youthful as all Gods were but Gavin could still feel it. It was rolling from them in waves, like his own glow or Ryan's fog, so strong, Gavin was sure he could touch it.

The stranger was wearing a heavy cloak made out of fur that nearly swallowed them but Gavin was pretty sure it was a young man. They had a head full of reddish curls and when they walked up into the temple like they belonged there, Gavin could see more details. There were freckles dusted all over their face and bright eyes watching him attentively but also amusedly. Like this wasn't a big deal, like Gavin's heart had no reason to just pound wildly like this.

This was the new God, an older, more experienced God clearly, and Gavin nearly laughed. Well, he had grown impatient about meeting them but he hadn't planned to do it alone. When he'd imagined it, he always had Ryan at his side.

Now he didn't know what to do and if the stranger wouldn't smile up to him, he'd probably forget how to breathe.

And that was another thing. Gavin was still standing up by his throne and having this new God walk up to him like a commoner felt wrong. He was in no way above him and Gavin nearly tripped over himself to walk down the steps. Anything was better than lording above him like an asshole.

They met halfway up to the throne and thankfully the stranger acted first and stretched out his hand because Gavin was at a loss of what to do.

"You're the Solar Queen, right? I heard a lot about you already! I'm Michael."

For a heartbeat Gavin just stared at him and then down to the hand. He should take it, he was well aware of that, but an ever-distant memory floated back to him. The first time Ryan had touched him and had banished every bit of warmth from his body, how it had extinguished his light for hours.

And this Michael was stronger, a full fledged God that had walked countless worlds. Gavin had never feared death, he knew death wouldn't come for him, but in that moment he wondered if another God could kill him.

Michael was still standing in front of him, unfaltering and a little smaller because Gavin was standing higher on the stairs and just like that the situation grew so unbearably awkward that he just reached for the outstretched hand.

"Gavin," he blurted out. "I- I'm a new God. I don't-"  _ know what I'm doing. _

He could at least stop himself from spilling that, but by the way Michael started to grin, the other knew exactly what he wanted to say. At least the hand shake didn't hurt but there was a clear strength in Michael's grip before he let go.

A God of Body perhaps?

"I'm the God of Adventures and Travels," Michael replied, and wait, he couldn't read his thoughts, right? Ryan could technically because he was a God of Mind but Michael? No, Gavin was probably not very hard to read.

Like right now when he just stood there, his hand still awkwardly hanging between them even though Michael had already let go and oh no, was Michael expecting some form of small talk? In his panic Gavin tried to reach Ryan and get him over. Michael only snorted. Could he feel that as well?

Gavin wished the ground would open up right about now.

"First time meeting a new God, is it?" Michael asked him, and Gavin just nodded meekly, waiting for a crack beneath his feet or something. A sinkhole, he would take that as well.

"So there is only the Dark God and you here? Those were the only Gods I heard people talk about. I'm guessing the Dark God created this world and then you were born as a new God?"

"Yeah, I was born on Geoff's farm," Gavin said and instantly wanted to kick his own ass. Who cared where he was born? A farm, a deep forest or this damn sinkhole that just wouldn't appear, Michael probably didn't give a shit.

"You need to relax," Michael told him and clapped him on the back.

Gavin swayed but thankfully stayed on his feet. He hadn't expected that and Michael was strong. The only thing worse would be to eat shit down these stairs in his own temple and now even the temple looked like a child's playhouse.

Michael had probably rolled his eyes upon seeing it.

"Let's go and meet the Dark God then," Michael offered, and now Gavin's knees nearly gave in.

"Yes, please. Follow me."

"Welcome to our world," Ryan said. He crossed the entrance hall of the castle with big steps and held his hand out. "I'm the God of Knowledge. Please call me Ryan."

"Michael," the new God introduced himself again. "God of Adventures and Travels."

Adventures and Travels! Ryan was already trying to decipher what that would mean but he got a pretty good idea already. Yeah, they could work with that. Not only that, he was pretty sure he had heard of Michael before from other Gods. He was one of the old ones, way older than him and it would be an amazing opportunity to learn more about... well, everything.

He could already imagine sitting down with Michael and hearing about the different worlds he had already seen. His cloak alone! Ryan would make sure to take a closer look at it but he was pretty sure it wasn't from any animal in this world.

He threw an excited look to Gavin but the other just gave a weak smile. Something must have happened, after all Gavin should be bouncing off the walls but he had sent Ryan his own form of a distress signal.

He didn't think Michael had done anything to him after all Gavin had invited him into the castle and Gavin didn't look harmed in any way. So probably just his head, making him overthink things.

He'd have to get to the bottom of this later.

"That sounds perfect. A God of Body then, I presume?" He turned to Gavin. "I'm sure you can learn a lot of things from Michael. You haven't encountered a God of Body yet."

Gavin gave him a shocked look, either because Ryan was pulling him into the conversation or at the prospect of spending time with Michael. Huh.

Even Michael must have noticed, but he just chuckled to himself.

"You surely have a spare room around here somewhere?" he asked instead and pulled the attention away from Gavin again.

"Yes of course. I'll show you."

Ryan waved him deeper into the castle and to his surprise, Gavin didn't follow them. He threw the Solar Queen a confused look but couldn't read Gavin's face.

"I think he's embarrassed," Michael told him, quietly enough that his voice didn't carry. "I figure we give him a moment alone so he can collect himself."

"Oh no, what did he do?"

"Nothing really." Michael shrugged. "He just didn't know what to do. Don't worry, we won't go into a full fledged war because he “offended” me. I'm not that type of guy."

Which was a possibility Ryan hadn't even considered. It wouldn't be unheard of, and by the glimmer in Michael's eyes, he could tell that it wouldn’t be the first time Michael went to war. Either for a good reason or just because he felt like it. 

"Gavin was very nervous about your arrival," Ryan told him, and Michael just snorted.

"Yeah, no shit. You don't think I felt his nervous energy everywhere in this world? I figured it would be better to show up sooner rather than later, or else give him a heart attack."

"Well, thank you for that. He was driving me up the walls." Ryan stopped in front of one of the empty rooms of the castle.

"I hope this is fitting for your needs. If you need any of it changed please let me know but I figured..." Ryan trailed off, unsure of how to word his thoughts without sounding rude. At least Michael seemed to pick up on it.

"I won't stay here long. I just need a place to store my shit first and well, I am the God of Travels. I still haven't fully discovered this world." He looked up to Ryan, an intense gaze that Ryan wasn't used to because no one dared to do so. But Michael? Oh, he didn't think Michael gave a damn about things like that. No, Michael was too old and had seen too many things in his time to be fooled by anything really. There had to be countless worlds crushed beneath his heel and even more that he had built painstakingly over time.

His eyes were warm, but only at first glance. His eyes were those of a wild animal, a lion or bear perhaps and Ryan had no illusions that Michael already knew more about this world then he let on.

"You also don't need to be nervous, Dark God," he told him with an easy smile on his face. "I am not your enemy, and if you play your cards right, you won't make me one. Now go and look after your protégé."

Ryan found Gavin in his room up in the tower of the castle. The Solar Queen was just laying on the bed, face buried in his pillow and Ryan raised an eyebrow at that.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to suffocate myself," came the muffled answer back.

"You know you can't. Technically you don't need to breathe."

"So I could like live underwater forever? Or bury myself in the sand in some desert?"

Ryan rolled his eyes and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Don't be so overdramatic. What happened?"

"I bollocksed it," Gavin cried out. "Michael just appeared and I didn't know what to say! It was so awkward, Ryan!"

Ryan pulled on the pillow to talk properly but Gavin just pressed the pillow harder against his face. "I'm sure it wasn't so bad."

"I have to go into hiding!"

"Michael said he isn't offended."

Gavin just groaned at that but when Ryan pulled on the pillow again, he gave it free.

"It's fine," Ryan assured him then. "Michael has met thousands of Gods in his time and I hardly believe that you made the worst first impression out of all of them."

"I definitely did," Gavin told him. His face was still flushed in embarrassment and Ryan shook his head fondly.

"Can't be worse than our first official meeting, right? You wanted to defeat and capture me, remember?"

"Ryan," Gavin whined and reached for the pillow again, but Ryan held it high up over his head so that the other had to sit up. When he did Ryan pecked him on the forehead.

"And I also forgave you for that, didn't you?"

"But only because you were smitten by my charm!"

"Yes, that's exactly what happened." He threw the pillow across the room when Gavin dared to catch it. Apparently it wasn't that important to him because instead of getting up, Gavin just let himself fall back onto the bed. "Just use this charm of yours on Michael then."

Gavin sighed but at least his face wasn’t flushed anymore. He seemed more serious as well. "Where is he now?"

"He's settling in. I provided him with a room."

"Don't tell me it's one of those empty dark chambers."

"The room has a window, I'm not an animal."

"Oh Ryan," Gavin groaned. "Michael probably thinks we're the worst Gods there ever was! We should just give up!"

"You're being overdramatic again."

"I'm the exact right kind of dramatic, thank you."

Ryan laid down next to him and crossed his arms behind his head. Looking up at the bright ceiling hurt his eyes but he barely noticed. His mind was thinking of their guest and by how quite Gavin was.

"It feels weird having someone else here," Gavin whispered after a while. "Can Michael hear us? Like our thoughts?"

"He's not a God of Mind, so no. Also that would be especially rude. If you don't want him to hear you, he won't."

Gavin turned to nestle into his side and Ryan let him.

"Michael won't stay here for long. Most Gods look for their own place and Michael already mentioned something like that. Considering that he is the God of Traveling he might not even stay in one place and just move around."

"The God of Adventures and Traveling," Gavin mumbled to himself. "What does that even mean? Is that what this world needs? I figured we'd get a God of... I don't know. Something that's more-" He trailed off but Ryan got him.

"Something that's more important?"

"I mean, yeah. You told me about Gods of Medicine or a God of Electricity would really help you out but I was hoping for something to help the people."

"I think this will greatly benefit this world actually." Ryan turned onto his side as well to face Gavin properly. His hand came up to play with golden hair as he did so often.

"Back when you were a child, there weren't many visitors in your village, right?"

"Well, the elders locked the village off to protect me."

"True, but those who tried to visit were mostly likely from surrounding villages. People still think it's dangerous to go far distances, to explore this world. Don't get me wrong, it is but the payoff might be worth it."

"People come to my temple from all over the world though," Gavin reminded him.

"But besides that? People stay where they were born all their lives most of the time."

"And Michael will change that?"

Ryan nodded. "There are places and secrets of this world that nobody has ever seen and I'm sure Michael will create even more."

"Like in books right? People could go on big adventures and fight dragons! We don't have dragons, Ryan. We should create dragons."

"Maybe we'll take one step at a time with this."

But now Gavin's curiosity was peaked and Ryan could see his mind going a mile an hour.

"It's not only that though. With more people traveling, there will be more merchants," Gavin went on. "There will be an exchange of products worldwide, different plants and animals that could help in far off territories, but that's also dangerous. There is a very fragile balance and if we mess with it too much..."

"That's where you'll come in," Ryan told him. "You and Michael will have to work on that."

For a second Gavin looked terrified at that prospect but the more he thought about it, the more he settled.

"I think I can do that."

"You absolutely can. I know that."

Gavin beamed at him and after all this time it really shouldn't have any effect on him anymore. Still, Ryan couldn't help but shutter pleasantly.

"What about you then?" Gavin asked. "With people traveling their ideas will too. That's good, isn't it?"

"It is. Ideas and new inventions will spread more easily, cultures will travel and grow richer, blood will mix easier. It'll be very beneficial if we do it right," Ryan explained. "I think we got very lucky that we got Michael. He's an old God with much experience. It's a very delicate balance that we will disturb, just like you said, but with him, I believe we can do it."

"Yeah."

They laid like this for a while longer, each of them thinking about the possibilities and Ryan couldn't help but think about Michael's words. There was no doubt in his mind that such an old God had seen horrible wars and had started some as well. With all this time and power he wouldn't be the first God who turned insane or simply cruel, far from it. Ryan had heard too many horror stories about that already, of Gods who appeared in worlds just to play until the toy was broken, Gods who picked some humans to mess with for their own amusements.

The real question was if he should warn Gavin about it. He had told him some stories before and the Solar Queen had been horrified by them and who was he kidding, Ryan had been the same back when he had been younger. When he had been born into a world that was dying, just because of some petty fight between Gods that nobody could remember the origin of anyway.

No, he would keep that to himself for now. Gavin was already anxious enough as it was and as long as Michael didn't try anything, there was no need to make him any more nervous. Also he actually didn't believe that Michael would start a war with them.

Ryan had seen cruel Gods in his time and he was pretty sure he would recognize them. There was a hint of it in Michael's eyes, sure, but he figured that came with time and power. There rarely was a God that wasn't affected by it and for now Michael was just looking around.

He would keep a close eye on him though. Gavin didn't know about the real horrors that could come from Gods and Ryan hoped he could protect him from that for as long as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael looked at him, his hand still wrapped around Gavin's but he let go now. Walking around the desk, he stopped opposite of him.
> 
> "You haven't found your place yet," he said bluntly, and Gavin wanted to flinch.
> 
> "I'm trying," he protested.

Chapter 3

Gavin creeped down the hallways of the castle, careful where he placed his steps. Not that he would make much noise in the first place, after all he was barefoot, and even if nobody would be able to hear him, there was the simple fact that he was glowing and his light was reflected by the walls.

It was the thought that counted though.

By now he had mostly managed to avoid Michael by keeping himself busy. His temple wasn't too far away so he could reach it quickly without being disturbed and his garden was big enough to hide in.

Unfortunately Ryan had grown a bit tired of his games, and Gavin couldn't help but admit that maybe he was being a bit ridiculous about this. He wouldn't be able to avoid Michael for the rest of eternity and Ryan had said that Michael wasn't weirded out by him.

Gavin wasn't sure how long that would take though; he didn't have much experience with people who didn't worship him and overlook every mistake of his. Gavin didn’t know how he would react if Michael just blatantly disliked him; the thought alone made him feel sick.

So he was here to fix things, to walk up to Michael and start a simple conversation, maybe an apology for their awkward first meeting. That still wouldn't stop him from sneaking up to his room and hopefully have some time to prepare himself before fully approaching him.

When he finally came face to face with no door and an abandoned room, he stopped in his tracks. Michael had to be in the castle, right? Ryan hadn't mentioned that the other God had left yet and Gavin hadn't seen him anywhere else.

Peeking inside the room, he groaned. There wasn't any furniture at all, which wasn't that much of a surprise considering that they didn't need anything to survive, but Gavin always found it more comfortable to at least have a place to sit.

At least the walls of the room were filled to the brim with different... those had to be masks, right? Masks of people and creatures he had never seen before and glimmering fabric over on one side that Gavin would love to touch. They looked magical, and Gavin knew that magic existed, that there were whole worlds that were dedicated to it, but he had never truly experienced it. Not to such a degree.

Ryan was the creator of this world and as a God of Knowledge and Wisdom, he focused on logical things and magic wasn't really compatible with logic. Gavin had read about it in countless books and the Elder of his village had performed it but Ryan never found any interest in it. A new God might change that, but somehow he doubted that.

Gavin let his eyes wander and the masks stared back. One in particular had gleaming red eyes and seemed to move from their place on the wall. The red and blue paint on it was in perfect condition, no cracks or anything while some of the other masks looked impossibly old.

On the floor sat the biggest backpack Gavin had ever seen. It was open halfway and inside there were even more masks. It seemed like Michael had run out of space in his room.

"Michael?" Gavin asked even though he could see that Michael wasn't in his room. He didn't like how thin his voice sounded, but he couldn't quite keep his eyes from that one mask. It wasn't like he was really scared but he still held on tight to his robe to keep himself right here. A big part of him wanted to go inside, take the mask in his hands and check it out, to poke on the other faces staring down at him and to throw the magical fabrics over his shoulders and see what happened.

Oh yeah, his interest was piqued and the urge to keep from making it even more awkward between the two of them was the only thing stopping him. The moment he had set foot in this room, he was sure Michael would just appear because that's just how it went and Gavin wouldn't be able to give a good explanation as to why he was going through his stuff.

"Gavin?"

He turned around and sure enough Michael was just turning the corner. "Are you looking for me?"

"I- yeah."

Michael wasn't wearing his thick coat today and Gavin could see the armor beneath. It looked light enough and didn't appear to hinder him in his movements but Gavin had no doubt that it would protect him from any attack. It was made out of bluish scales and Gavin forgot his initial plan.

"Are those dragon scales?" he blurted out before Michael even reached him.

"This here? It's from a water dragon I fucked over a couple worlds ago." Michael looked quite smug as he said that but considering that he was wearing dragon armor, Gavin figured that was pretty fair. "Do you want to touch it?"

"Can I?" Gavin said even though his fingers were already running over Michael's shoulder. The scales were unyielding and very smooth, not unlike Ryan's crystals but now up close Gavin could see how they shifted to allow Michael to move freely.

"We don't have dragons in this world, but I kinda want to make them."

"There are enough beasts out there you should take on first before you think about a dragon." Michael chuckled and brushed by him and into his room. Gavin took that as an invitation to follow him and looked up to the rows of rows of masks that went up to the ceiling. There were way more than he had expected looking in from outside.

Hairy beasts, bird like creatures with beaks as big as Gavin's arm and there, the head of a dragon!

"Are those beasts you have slayed?"

"Sure is. That was an Ender Dragon."

Gavin stopped right beneath the head and stared at the darkened skin. There was still a violet glimmer in the eyes of the dragon and Gavin wasn't sure if he could touch, he just knew he wanted to. Thankfully Michael took it upon himself to take his hand and press it against the dragon head.

"It's dead, it won't hurt you anymore," he said, and of course Gavin knew that, but he couldn't even answer. The scales of this dragon felt a lot harder and unyielding than those form Michael's armor.

"I don't want to turn them golden," Gavin mumbled but couldn't help but move on to the next monster. The fur was thicker than any he had ever seen before. "That happens if I touch things. It would be a shame to ruin them."

"Don't worry about that. Those are mementos of my past worlds. Memories that turned into masks for me to carry around," Michael explained. "They are a part of me and you are not yet strong enough to change them in any way."

Gavin threw him a short glance, but Michael was rummaging through the enormous backpack and not even looking at him.

"Why do you have heads of humans here as well?" Gavin asked instead. There was a row of them under the ceiling and Gavin felt uneasy looking up at their empty eyes.

"Humans can be beasts too," Michael told him. "Often they are the worst kind."

Gavin let his hand drop by his side and looked up to the empty faces of men and women who had pulled the wrath of a God upon them. He couldn’t find it in him to feel sorry for them.

Michael was back on his feet and stepped by his side to look up as well. He was a bit smaller than Gavin.

"Have you met humans like that before?" he asked, and Gavin pressed his lips together.

"Yes."

There had been a man waiting by his temple, approaching him in search of forgiveness and redemption, to be washed clean by the oh so forgiving Solar Queen. And Gavin had let him in because he had believed in those things, of second chances and a new beginning, but the mind of this man had been so vile and deep and dark that it had shocked him to his bones.

There was no real guilt in the heart of that beast, no need for a second chance because they hadn't given it to the men and women and children who had crossed their way. The pictures and dreams and thoughts in their heart had sent Gavin into hysterics and he still pushed them away to this day.

The evil had been dealt with, he had burned it out of that mortal body, but it had festered in a part of his own soul. He didn't think it would ever leave; that it was a lesson he had learned and now carried around with him.

Ryan had calmed him down but hadn't bothered to try and explain this beast to him. For some things there was no explanation.

Michael's hand on his shoulder snapped him out of the thoughts of that horrible death and Gavin realized that he was still staring up to the empty eyes. He knew that Michael was watching him, but he still couldn't help but shiver. At least the older God didn't comment on it.

"Surely there's a map of this world somewhere," he asked instead, and Gavin nodded.

"Of course. Ryan has one in his library."

"Care to show me?"

Gavin forgot all the horrible thoughts from monsters and men as they made their way to the library. He wasn't sure if Michael had already been inside but clearly he had to be very impressed with it. Even after all this time, Gavin for sure was.

The rows of books stretching on endlessly were dizzying and he noticed that Michael actually stopped in the entrance to look up and down the room. Gavin let him have that time and couldn't help but feel a little smug about it.

Granted, this was Ryan's accomplishment but he had helped. Kinda. Not really with the library but still. The least he could do was be proud of Ryan's work.

"There are similar Gods like the Dark God out there," Michael said as he looked around. "Gods of the Mind who carry wisdom are needed in nearly every world."

Gavin deflated a little and felt the first spark of annoyance. That made sense and all, clearly they couldn't be the only world with wisdom and invention and stuff like that but this was Ryan's work. It wasn't like any other God out there could be better.

"The last one I met had a library similar to this, only that they did construct it upwards. It was like a big room and on the walls, all the shelves were stacked. If you looked up you'd get dizzy and I've seen Gods actually puke because of it. Looking up just messed with you somehow," Michael went on and shook his head slightly. "This layout here is so much more pleasing."

"This other God sounds like an asshole," Gavin just said and didn't expect Michael to break into a big grin.

"Oh, they were! You couldn't use the room because it was so messed up, you always wanted to look up! Ryan instead is sharing his knowledge which is good."

"Well, Ryan is amazing," Gavin told him and Michale huffed.

"If you say so. You seem quite smitten by him but of course you are his protégé."

Gavin kept his tongue in check at that. He was pretty sure Michael had already picked up that Ryan and he were more than just that but if not, Gavin for sure wouldn't be the one who broke it to him. Up until now, he had never thought about it but maybe a relationship like theirs was frowned upon.

"The maps over here." He took the map from one of the shelves and Michael helped him pin it down. It took in the whole surface of the desk and was the most detailed map of the world that existed.

"We're here," Gavin told him and pointed towards the center of the map.

"Can you tell me where I appeared in this world?" Michael asked and at first Gavin was confused. Surely Michael knew that himself but then he figured it was a test. He might be Ryan's protégé but he had to be willing to learn from Michael as well.

"East from here and it was quite a distance." Gavin hesitated before settling in the snowy taiga there. Yeah, that appeared right to him.

"Not bad." Michael took his hand and guided it a bit further, up into the mountainside there. "You can sense energies quite well. I didn't ask before but I figure you're a God of Heart?"

Gavin nodded.

"Makes sense. You have an easier time with those gut feelings," Michael said. "When I was born it was in the mountains, so now I appear in a similar spot in each world I visit. You said you were born on a farm?"

Gavin felt his face heat up at the reminder of this useless information he had just spewed in front of Michael. "In a sunflower field."

"So you'll probably appear in a field of some sort in the next world. Actually, you might just bring sunflowers with you."

"That... that doesn't sound very helpful."

Michael looked at him, his hand still wrapped around Gavin's but he let go now. Walking around the desk, he stopped opposite of him.

"You haven't found your place yet," he said bluntly, and Gavin wanted to flinch.

"I'm trying," he protested. "I help with making medicine, but I can't truly heal. I grow herbs for it though. I also preserve rare plants in my garden and I'm working with Ryan to introduce new ones but it's very hard because of the balance of thi-"

"I don’t want to upset you, it was just an observation," Michael interrupted him. "You're still so young, you barely have a feel for your powers, and that's fine. Nobody expects you to."

And still Gavin couldn't really look him in the eyes because deep inside he knew that he wasn't good enough. He didn't bring knowledge or adventures into this world. All his powers did was compliment Ryan's, but with Michael here, maybe that wasn't needed anymore.

"Sunflowers won't help any world," he muttered.

"That may be true, but neither do my masks when you think about it," Michael said bluntly. "That's not important. You are the personified sun and that means you'll bring warmth, life, and death. Depending on your choice you can bring great growth to a world or turn it to little more than ashes."

That made Gavin look up. "I don't want that!"

"That's fine. I just said that it would be an option. You'll make crops grow faster and that may not seem like a lot to you but I've been in worlds where it was bitterly needed." Michael cocked his head to the side. "You will see hunger in your time. Horrible, horrible hunger and what it makes out of people. Then you'll realize that you can stop it and _ you will,  _ I can see it in your eyes. After you have saved millions of lives, after you did what no one else could, you will realize that you don't just bring sunflowers into a new world. You’ll realize what kind of powers you hold."

Gavin could only stare at him and he kinda expected Michael to burst into fits of laughter, but he just held his gaze, unmoving. Maybe he was right, Gavin knew little of hunger and things of need. Geoff and Jack and the village had provided him with everything he could want and now he made sure that other places got the same treatment. Out there were far away cities in desolated landscapes that had little, but he sent his supplies there and still... that wasn't the hunger Michael was talking about.

Those people survived on their own, but in other worlds? Ryan had said the world he had been born in had been burned away and the few remaining people had trouble with water and food. Many had died because there simply wasn't enough or because what little they had was contaminated.

That was true hunger.

Michael finally turned back to the map and left Gavin to stew over his own thoughts for a while as if he wanted to drive home his lesson. Maybe that was exactly the case.

"What can you tell me about these mountains?" Michael finally asked and pointed to a place in the south. Gavin actually needed a moment to orientate himself on the map before he nodded. range

"This range doesn’t have the highest peaks but the mountains themselves are very large. They follow most of the coast here." He let his fingers travel from one end of the mountains to the other. "The south side is basically abandoned. There is one little settlement by the ocean but the winds are too harsh and often very cold. Most people prefer the protected north side of the mountains. There are twenty villages in total but most are very small, just a couple of families that live together and a nomadic clan in the area. It's quite a distance to the next city."

He pointed to the city a couple of finger lengths away. For a human, it would take nearly a week to travel there.

"What about wildlife?" Michael asked.

"Different kinds of birds, a kind of goat that only lives there with intertwined horns, they look pretty cool. Down the mountains are forests with all kinds of animals you'd expect; bears, deer, and rabbits. On the south side-" Gavin hesitated as he understood what Michael was looking for and moved his finger up near the mountains peaks. "If you're looking for beasts they reside far up the mountain. During the winter they come close to the villages but they usually stay up there. There's enough prey for them to hunt."

"Have you ever been there? Have you seen them?"

Gavin shook his head. "Not personally. I visited this place in my mind though and they are well scary. Some of them can grow as big as trees with large claws. Their teeth are weirdly small, it looks strange, but you have to ask Ryan about that, he can be a weirdo.

"The villages nearby have weapons to hunt the beasts and sell their pelts. They have very long fur against the cold and you can sell that for a high price. It's still very dangerous to go after them though because they can endure quite a few bullets, so there aren't too many people who dare to hunt them."

When he looked up he found Michael grinning at that. There was something fierce in his expression that Gavin did not understand. A fighter or hunter or warrior he was not. Violence and war disgusted him and he knew that for Michael it was fun, a strange kind of sport. That was his right as a God: to play with the world as he pleased. Gavin debated if he should speak of it now, but ultimately didn't dare to.

It wasn't his world, was the bottom line. He had no right to oppose Michael in any way. The other was more powerful and a lot older than him and still-

"Sounds like fun," Michael said, and their eyes met. Gavin was pretty sure Michael was looking right through his doubts. Not only that, but perhaps Michael was sending him some of his feelings and Gavin felt like that settled something in him.

It was a challenge, right? An adventure, and Gavin had read so many books about that. The strong warrior that defeated the dragon and became the hero. Wouldn’t that be exciting?

Right now he could feel the same excitement coming from Michael and it was getting under his skin. A connection that could easily become a livewire between them.

"So?" Michael went on, the same grin as before still on his face as if he didn't even doubt Gavin's answer. "Are you tagging along?"

Ryan was tinkering with the solar panel when Gavin just appeared by his side. A lesser man would've jumped straight out of his skin, but in some weird way Ryan had grown used to it. Not even because Gavin could be sneaky, which he could if he wanted to, but because Ryan could get swallowed up in his work and forget the world around him.

Right now he wasn't even sure what time of day it was and down here in his lab there were no windows to check. Which made working on the solar panel especially challenging. All those thoughts left his head when Gavin leaned heavily against his side. A rare deep sigh left him and Ryan quickly put his tools down.

"What's wrong?"

"I was talking with Michael."

"Oh no, what did you do this time. Did you trip over your own feet? We both know you have a problem with that."

Gavin pulled a face but didn't talk back. He had no right to anyway because Ryan was speaking the truth.

"Actually no. I think we had quite a pleasant talk."

"That's good, isn't it?"

Gavin nodded but he still looked flat. Even his glow was dimmer than usual and Ryan lifted his arm so that the Solar Queen could snuggle into his side."Michael said that I haven't yet found my place in this world."

For a second there was something like anger in Ryan's chest. That was a normal reaction whenever someone hurt Gavin in any way and it also extended to fellow Gods. He swallowed that down because it wasn't what Gavin needed right now.

"Of course you haven't, Gavin," he said instead. "It's way too early for that. You are still learning and developing your powers and that's way more important. Your time will come but it's not right now."

Gavin sighed again, that deep, deep sigh that Ryan despised.

"Michael got here and already knows where he wants to go and what to do there. I know he's way more experienced than me, but beside him, I feel so small. I just want to be useful and help you guys. Right now I'm just a burden."

"Okay, first of all, you are not a burden. You are learning and that's very important." He turned Gavin towards him and held him at arm's length. "Gavin, you are not only a very fast learner but the things you have already created are impressive. Just think about your garden and the temple! You are very popular with the people and since you were born the human's are happier."

He squeezed his shoulders and nodded towards his work table.

"The solar panels! Just imagine the things you and I can do with it. That was also your idea."

For a while Gavin didn't answer. His eyes were resting on the overturned solar panel, the cables inside and the different tools scattered around. Then he smiled.

"Sorry," Gavin muttered. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel out of place lately."

"Things are changing that have stayed the same for a long time with Michael showing up. Of course that's jarring."

"The two of us have been a great team in all these years, right?" Gavin asked, and Ryan was pleased to hear something teasing in his voice.

"The best team there is. I'm pretty sure there are no other Gods out there who can do what we did with this world." Maybe that was a bit too much, but it made Gavin laugh and wasn't that the most important thing?

Cupping his face, Ryan pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"You look exhausted. Why don't you lay down for a bit?"

"I am a little tired even though I recently slept," Gavin admitted before nodding to himself. "But I think I'll go upstairs and think for a bit."

"Not too much," Ryan warned him. He himself wasn't the only one who could easily overthink a situation and Gavin did so in the same destructive ways as he himself.

"Guess you'll have to join me then to make sure I get my sleep."

"In a bit. I'll finish things up here and you should really try and get some rest first."

Gavin hummed doubtfully but didn't talk back. Instead he leaned ahead to kiss him on the corner of his mouth.

"Alright."

Ryan watched him leave, pleased to see Gavin's glow appeared stronger now, but the thing would continue to eat at him for a while longer. After Ryan was sure that Gavin wasn't in this area of the castle anymore, he made his own way to find Michael.

The other God was waiting outside the castle and was checking on Gavin's garden. The flowers didn't wither under his touch like they had done in the beginning whenever Ryan had come out here. That was long ago, by now Gavin barely had to visit here to strengthen them.

"Are you angry at me?" Michael called without even turning around. In the harsh sunlight his fur coat looked wrong but Ryan was too fascinated with the different colors in it to truly think about it.

"I heard you talked with Gavin."

"You won't stop me from having a conversation with him, the three of us have to work together in this world," Michael said and let go of the sunflowers to step closer to Ryan. "You might not like this and I respect that he is your protége, but with me here, we both have to look out for him and teach him. You're not the only God in his life anymore."

Of course, Ryan had known that long ago, it was something that had to happen to assure Gavin grew even more and it would be insane to be bothered by it. Still, hearing Michael say it so bluntly left him a bit out of balance. It took him a moment to regain his composure.

"It's not that. As far as I can tell you didn't say anything wrong," he told Michael. "But Gavin takes things like this very hard. You said he hadn't found his place yet. He'll chew on that for a long time."

At least Michael looked like he was considering his word and didn't just shoot them down. "Don't take this the wrong way, Ryan. I'm sure you taught him the best you could, but he's missing the needed confidence. I think you pampered him."

Stricken, Ryan didn't know what to say. If a human dared to even think about things like this, he would have struck them down in the blink of an eye, but he couldn't do the same with Michael. It had really been too long since he had faced another God.

"I asked Gavin about a few places in this world and he provided me with very valuable information, but he has never visited them," Michael went on. "After Gavin joined you and gained control over his powers, he should've been out there and exploring the world that is also his. That's how it's usually done and even more so with his gift. I'm quite surprised that he hasn't yet been in every corner of this world to explore the flora and fauna and help plants grow. It seems like he would enjoy that."

"He never mentioned wanting to go out there and see the world." That was a lame excuse and Michael picked up on it right away.

"Then you should ask yourself why that is, shouldn't you?"

That was easy. Because Gavin was clinging to him, even more so after Geoff and Jack had died. He was dutifully learning and paying attention to whatever Ryan showed him, but he always kept close, never quite out of sight. The past year they had been apart had been the first of its kind, and Ryan knew that it should've happened earlier, should happen more often.

Gavin had to learn to rule a world on his own eventually because that would eventually come to him. Maybe not in the next world or in the one after, but one day he would be able to create his own place and Ryan wouldn't be there to help him. He remembered himself how jarring it had been to start with nothing and how every mistake could make everything he had built come crumbling down.

"I see what you mean," he admitted. That was hard, and a part of him wanted to shut Michael down, to tell him to keep out of their business. Gavin was happy after all, wasn't that the most important thing? But of course it wasn't, it was far from it.

"He grew up very sheltered, I wanted to keep it that way. He'll see pain and horrors soon enough."

"You keep him naive and naive Gods get shut down and naive Gods are prone to go insane," Michael told him bluntly. "Believe me, I've seen it enough times. You want to protect him and that's fine, but it won't do him any good if he can't fight back."

"He can fight back!"

"Yeah? Today I didn't notice any of that. I said things he clearly didn't like, but he kept his thoughts to himself."

"He's awkward with new people and..." Ryan trailed off on his own as he realized how much of an excuse that was. Gavin should be comfortable enough to speak his mind with any God not only for the sake of the world, but for his own. Gods who were ignored or shut down could turn violent. and thinking about Gavin now, that sounded ridiculous, but-

Every God found amusement in their powers at some point.

"I'll go on a journey soon," Michael said when Ryan didn't continue. "I asked Gavin to come along. Did he tell you that?"

"He hasn't," Ryan admitted, and Michael nodded to himself.

"I figured. I don't think he's too fond of the idea, but it's on you to find out why. It would be good for him."

Ryan found Gavin on his bed just like he had said. He was just resting though, one arm covering his eyes but he looked up the moment Ryan stepped inside.

"Took your time," he muttered and added without missing a beat, "You went and talked to Michael?"

"I did." Ryan sat down at the edge of the bed. "What he said about you not finding your place yet... he didn't mean it in any degrading way."

"I think I know that. It just hurt to hear it." Gavin turned towards him and picked on the blanket. Whenever he found the Solar Queen in here, he couldn't help but think how soft he looked. There was an innocence to him that was rare and Ryan didn't want to lose it, and for a moment he didn't even want to mention Michael anymore. To imagine Gavin out there in one of Michael's 'adventures' was a scary thought and just the thought of it made his chest feel tight.

Gavin was strong in other ways; he didn't have to be in the same way Michael was. Ryan could hardly imagine the Solar Queen anywhere else than a castle or on a throne.

But that was the problem in the first place. Gavin had to experience this world to truly understand it. Even the bad sides. He also had to learn to speak up and stand up for himself, not only to mortals, but other Gods.

There would be other worlds he would appear in, other Gods he would have to work with and Ryan knew first hand how cruel and dominant some of them were. If Gavin wasn't able to fight back he would go under.

"You didn't tell me Michael offered to take you along on his next adventure," he said and watched how Gavin squirmed a little.

"I didn't know what to think about that yet," Gavin admitted. "I never considered going out there, least of all to such dangerous places, so I didn't know how to react. In the south mountains there are the beasts you've told me about."

Oh dear, Michael hadn't mentioned that he wanted to take Gavin there. It wasn't necessarily the most dangerous place in the world, but those beasts were reckless and cruel. Perfect hunters that slithered in the dark and to imagine Gavin in those dark woods, glowing like a firefly? Ryan felt himself grow sick at the image.

"Nothing can hurt you, so don't worry about that," he said instead because Gavin shouldn't be afraid of the world he ruled. "Also you'd be out there with Michael and I bet Michael knows how to fight better than most other Gods. Someone who is just constantly looking for more adventures surely can show you some tricks."

That made Gavin smile. "I bet so, but I was never one for fighting."

"But you're one for exploring, aren't you? You've never been in the mountains before." Ryan hesitated a second before he added. "You haven't been to many places before and that's probably because of me. You should explore this world to your heart's content, instead I kept you here by my side this whole time."

Gavin's eyes darted up to him.

"I like being by your side though," he threw in. "I also like to explore, you are right about that. I'd just feel more comfortable with you next to me."

Ryan's first instinct was to agree, to offer to come along. He could go right down to Michael and tell him that. That he and Gavin would go together or not at all, and oh no, how wrong that was. So he bit his tongue until he had the urge under control.

"Go with Michael," he found himself saying and knew it was right, no matter how his insides fought against it. "I think it would be good for you."

With a sigh, Gavin sat up in bed and looked out of the glass door. His golden eyes traced the wide fields outside of the castle, the far distant mountains, but again Ryan had only eyes for him. Oh, once he had been in complete control, but all of that had been blown out of the water when his little Solar Queen had come for him.

They weren't the only ones, he knew that. That there were Gods who met their counterpart for a reason, to change their ways, but it didn’t always work. Sometimes there was pure hate between such different creatures, so Ryan really couldn't complain. No, hate was the furthest from what he felt for Gavin.

"I want to see this world," Gavin said after a while. "I remember wanting this. For as long as I can remember I’ve felt that that little village I was born in just wasn't enough. That this castle isn't either. It's a place to rest, to be with you, and I love it for that. But there is a world out there, waiting for me."

He turned back towards Ryan with a small nod. "If you think this is the right decision, I will go with Michael."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I take it you are not familiar with any weapons," Michael said. "If you want to go with me, I want you to have one."

Chapter 4

"Your garden is very impressive, Solar Queen."

Gavin flinched upon hearing Michael's voice but he didn't yet turn around. He had his hands folded over a basket of chamomile and was giving them the energy to survive the long trip up north.

Jeremy in front of him had been watching the glow of his fingers, but now his eyes snapped up to look at Michael. Something protective crossed his face and his hand went down to his belt as if to reach for something. Huh, that was strange.

"It's all good," Gavin assured him and spread the cloth over the chamomiles. "Make sure they don't get into direct sunlight, will you?"

"Your Divinity..." Jeremy trailed off, his eyes on Michael and hand still on his hip. Gavin made sure to give him the basket instead.

"As I said everything is alright, Jeremy. Michael means no harm."

Jeremy didn't look too convinced and Gavin could still feel his eyes on him when he turned to address Michael.

"I am sure you’ve already seen grander gardens in your time."

"I never said that it was the grandest garden I have ever seen, just that it's impressive," Michael told him. He was casually leaning against a fence post, and now Gavin could see what made Jeremy so nervous. There was a bow slung over Michael's shoulder and a sword at his hip.

"If I was only looking for grander things my life would be very dull and unfulfilling."

"I guess so. Jeremy? The chamomiles have to be shipped out soon."

Jeremy finally moved but Gavin didn't think he'd go far. By Michael's lazy smile, he didn't either.

"That's cute. Your own little warrior always close to you."

"Jeremy is devoted to Ryan, not me."

"Oh, I can see that. I bet it was also Ryan who brought him into your garden."

For a second Gavin hesitated. How had he never connected the dots? Had Ryan sent Jeremy out here to protect him? In his own garden?

"You made him nervous with your weapons. I usually don't allow them in my garden."

For the first time, Michael's easy posture changed. There was something nearly chastised on his face. "I did not know that. This is your space and I will follow your rules, but be sure that I mean no harm."

Hearing such an old God say something like that made him feel powerful. It was his space, just like the library was Ryan’s, and others had to obey him here, but hearing Michael saying it so casually felt good. The other respected him enough not to question his rules.

"I know you won't, it's just a precaution. Plants and weapons don't go together well."

"A precaution because it’s happened before?" Michael asked, and Gavin felt himself freeze. He carefully chose his next words.

"It would appear that the Solar Queen isn't very welcome at the festival devoted to the Dark God. Many humans of the eastern islands think me stupid and unworthy to rule alongside Ryan."

Realizing that had hurt more than the sharp knife in his side. People had never hated him before, he had always been popular, but he had felt it upon setting foot on the eastern islands. The whispers and the oppressing feeling against his heart. Still, he had never believed-

"Fools," Michael simply said. "But I'm sure they learned that lesson the hard way."

"Ryan made sure of that."

Gavin didn't think he would forget the roar Ryan had growled out or the gentle hands on his shoulders that had so easily torn and ripped through flesh before. It had been the first and only time he had seen the wrath of a God, and the memories would never fade. He didn't think he wanted them to in the first place.

"Would've loved to see that one," Michael chuckled before pushing himself off the fence. He reached for the bow on his back and Gavin expected him to make it disappear but instead he threw it to Gavin.

Gavin nearly let it fall before getting a good grip on it. It was a lot heavier than he had expected.

"I take it you are not familiar with any weapons," Michael said. "If you want to go with me, I want you to have one. A bow will be perfect."

"Do you expect me to kill?"

"It's a possibility. The alternative would be to have a beast whale on you until it loses interest. Wouldn't recommend that."

Gavin looked down at the bow. At first glance, it looked black, but now in his own glow, he could see that it was a deep blue and barely see-through. The material felt not unlike Ryan's crystal but it was way more flexible.

"Nymphs make wonderful weapons," Michael explained. "Their hair never rips so it's perfect for a bowstring and their knowledge of alchemy makes for the most interesting materials. This bow is one of a kind in most worlds."

"And you're giving it to me?"

"Well, only for our little adventure. It was a present after all and regifting a present is bad luck."

"I never used a bow," Gavin admitted but he couldn't quite take his eyes from the reflection in the bow. It looked like the deepest of waters, where light rarely reached. He had read of nymphs and other creatures but they couldn’t live in this world since they lived off of magic, not technology.

"That's what I'm here for."

He hadn't noticed Michael getting close, but he didn't protest when the other God took his arm and pulled him out of the fields. Only when they reached the little empty space between his garden and the castle did they stop.

"Okay for weapons to be used here?"

Usually not. Usually he didn’t want violence anywhere close to his garden, but Gavin would be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued. The bow still felt heavy; though he had grown used to the weight a little. It also reminded him of all those books he had read and the adventures he had dreamed of. The heroes had always carried swords like Michael did, but Gavin found he preferred the bow.

It felt safer to be further away from whoever his enemy was, even if he wasn't yet sure if he would be able to truly hurt someone. Maybe one of those beasts, but honestly? He wasn't convinced about that.

"This is fine," he agreed and then took the bow in one hand. The bow was huge, not a small one he had seen hunters use, but nearly as big as himself. The bowstring felt surprisingly soft on his fingers.

He pulled on it and immediately felt the resistance. His arms began to shake, and surprised, Gavin let go.

"This is hard!" he protested

"And you don't even have to hold an arrow yet." Michael pulled one from his back. He was also carrying a quiver that Gavin hadn't noticed up until now. "Let me show you."

The arrow was a normal one as far as Gavin could tell. The feathers brushed against the back of his hand while Michael made sure he had the right hold on it, and as Gavin pulled on the string again, the wood of the shaft felt soft on his fingers.

Pulling was even harder now because he also had to hold the arrow loosely and before Gavin knew it the arrow just clattered to the floor. Behind him, Michael started to laugh.

"I told you I never fired an arrow!"

"I can see that!"

Michael wrapped a hand around each of Gavin's arms and the sudden contact made him jump. He looked up to Michael who just waggled one eyebrow at him as if that was an answer.

"What are you doing?"

"Altering your body."

"You’re doing  _ what?" _ Gavin spat, making Michael just laugh harder.

"I'm giving you what we call muscles, weakling!"

And sure enough, there was a tickling sensation starting right where Michael was touching him. It didn't feel painful and actually grew warm after a bit.

"You can do that?"

"God of the Body, right?" Michael reminded him and moved his hands to his shoulders. "You can do it yourself though."

"I can?"

"You're a God and this is just a vessel of yours. What form your vessel takes is up to you alone."

"So I could become like... a cat?"

Michael snorted. "I mean, technically yes. I've seen some weirdos do that. In fact the last time I saw the Goddess of Chaos she was a black cat, but I was rather referring to your gender or skin color or whatever else you want."

"I could be a chick?" Gavin blurted out.

"Sure. Has its pros and cons though, some humans act differently depending on if you have tits or not. If you want some big knockers just let me know, will only take me a minute."

Gavin could feel himself flush and quickly shook his head. "I'll pass."

"Offer still stands." Michael let him go to bend down and grab the arrow from the floor. "Try again?"

Gavin let the arrow fall again but only because he was surprised by how easily he could pull on the bowstring. His eyes lit up.

"Michael! I'm really strong now, Michael!"

"That might be an exaggeration," Michael said but he sounded fond. He turned on the spot looking for something before he pointed up the side of the castle. "Think you can hit that window?"

"Won't I break it?"

"I don't think so. They are made out of Ryan's crystals, aren't they?"

Gavin nodded and turned to face the window. It was one of the pretty ones, with different patterns that changed depending on the sun to let more or less light in. Picking up the arrow, he tried to take aim, but all his new found strength didn't help without practice. It was finicky work to keep the arrow where it was supposed to be while pulling the string and Gavin pressed his lips together in concentration.

Michael came up behind him and corrected his grip slightly. He was close enough that Gavin could feel him breath and his curls brushed against the side of his head. It was a little distracting having someone this close to him and for a moment Gavin was confused why. But it became pretty obvious with a little thought.

Since becoming a God there hadn't been many who had dared to step close enough to touch, least of all like this. Besides Ryan, Gavin couldn't think of anyone who had done so.

Huh, how lonely now that he thought about it.

"Pay attention," Michael told him and Gavin snapped back. He saw the window above him and corrected his aim.

"Like this?"

"Looks good but we won't know until you try."

So Gavin let go. The arrow shot off faster than he had anticipated and he actually jumped when he felt the wind against his face. Michael quickly grasped his hand so he didn't let the bow fall and above them, the arrow  _ dinked  _ against the window.

Gavin stared in awe.

"I hit it!"

"Looks like it."

"I must be a natural, Michael."

"I'd say you got the right teacher but sure, go with that," Michael said good-naturedly and fished another arrow out of his quiver. "Try again?"

"Yeah!"

The next arrow hit the wall to the right of the window but when Michael helped him steady his bow again, it was easier. Hopefully Ryan wasn't somewhere up there. Imagining him searching for that noise was kinda hilarious though.

"Alright, so this arrow head is made out of bone," Michael explained to him as he held the arrow right beneath Gavin's nose.

"Bone?"

"Chill, the animal is long dead. I use every part of what I hunt, alright? Not an asshole." Michael turned the arrow so that the feathers tickled Gavin's nose. "Can you make that part glow?"

Gavin slapped his hand away but nodded.

"I should be able to. It won't burst into flames, will it?"

"Since when do bones burn? At least not so easily." Michael threw the arrow at him and Gavin had a hard time catching it. "Don't try this with iron though. I don't know how strong your powers are yet but I might piss myself if the arrow head just drips off, alright?"

This time Gavin had to huff himself. His hands moved way quicker than in the beginning and he wondered if that also was a God thing. Did he learn things quicker than others? If his body was just a vessel he had full control over like Michael said, maybe he would just have to go through the motions a handful times and be done with it. He couldn't really remember having too many problems learning anything before.

The tip began to glow and because Michael was watching so closely, Gavin tried extra hard. Only when the tip was nothing more than blinding white, did he take a second to aim and let go of the string.

This time the arrow shattered the window and Gavin's mouth fell open. While he was still staring up in disbelief there was a huge crack working down the entire length of the castle before stopping close to the ground.

It grew very quiet in the garden and slowly Gavin let his bow sink to make sure that yes, that wasn't some weird play by the light. There really was a crack.

Behind him, Michael burst into laughter but Gavin still couldn't take his eyes away from the castle.

"You said the crystal wouldn't break!"

"Dude- Dude, your face!"

"Michael!"

Michael slapped a hand on his shoulder if only to hold himself up. He was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes.

"Listen, I didn't think it would, alright? Turns out you're a bit stronger than I had anticipated bu-" He trailed off and Gavin could feel it as well. A feeling of confused anger that came from inside the castle like fog and Gavin swallowed.

"Oh, I think Ryan noticed."

Without thinking, he grasped Michael's hand and both of them ran. That was stupid because Ryan could sense them and it would be an easy fix, but that didn't matter. Running into the sunflower field like that felt... felt free and exciting and Gavin started to laugh as well.

How ridiculous! How very ridiculous this whole situation was, but it was also fun!

He turned around to grin at Michael and the other just grinned back, and right then and there Gavin was reminded of his childhood. Of the sunflowers above and the light filtered golden through their petals. The fresh soil with its heavy scent underneath his feet.

Back then he had been alone with Jack and Geoff somewhere close by, but hearing Michael giggle behind him was way better.

They came to a stop halfway through the garden and looked back at the castle. Even from here the crack was very visible and sent Gavin right into the next laughing fit. He let himself drop onto the little path between the fields and held his belly.

Michael just looked very proud of their antics.

"I could bring this whole castle down," Gavin said without much thinking. It was just a thought that had popped into his mind.

"If you tried, sure." Michael shrugged. "Gavin, you can burn worlds down if you want to."

What a weird thought. His eyes trailed the crack in the castle walls and knew that Ryan could fix it in an instant, the fact that it was there in the first place was kinda eerie. Of course, he knew he had power - had used it before - but so rarely with ill intent. Destruction was such a foreign thought, but Ryan had warned him that that might change, that one day he would do it just to try it. That it was also a part of growing.

"Have you ever destroyed something that you regretted?" he asked, but Michael didn't answer. No, Michael was looking in a completely different direction than him and when Gavin followed his gaze, he found one of his helpers.

"That's Ray."

"Oh, I know."

Confused, Gavin turned towards him and with a sigh, Michael sat down next to him. "Only so many faces out there, you know? Even if you'd go through every human in this world, you'd find some that look exactly the same. So moving through the different worlds it's sometimes a bit of a déjà vu."

"You knew another Ray in another world?"

Michael nodded and made an effort not to look towards Gavin's helpers again. The laughter from before was gone and Gavin frowned.

"Were you and the other Ray a couple?" he blurted out, and Michael actually looked taken aback by that.

"A couple? No, why would you think that?"

Gavin shrugged. He couldn't even tell where that thought had come from, it was just a hunch. Michael had looked at Ray with so much yearning and regret that Gavin had just figured it was something like that.

"Your friend then?"

"Nothing like that. We barely saw each other, just let it go."

"Okay."

But he couldn't stop himself from throwing Michael some side-long glances and wracking his mind over everything. Barely saw each other? So really just a strange déjà vu? No way, there had to be more to it.

But if Michael wanted him to let it go he would try to. It wasn't any of his business. There were other questions in his head that could be asked. Once he moved to another world would he one day meet someone that looked like Geoff and Jack? That felt wrong in his chest and still... he kinda wanted that. They wouldn't be  _ his,  _ but they would be alive. Wasn't that enough?

Michael nudged the bow he was still holding and Gavin decided to wonder over that later when he had time on his own.

"So, you wanna take this when coming with me?"

"Who said I'll be coming with you?"

"I just know it. It'll be our little adventure." He said it with such confidence that Gavin had to grin. He had already made his decision, but he hadn't approached Michael about it yet. Saying it out loud made it final, but now he actually wasn't as nervous as before.

"Fine. I'll join you on your little adventure." He lifted the bow and gazed at the deep blue of it. "And I'll take this as a weapon if you'll allow me to."

"Sure." Michael shrugged his quiver off and handed it to him. The arrows inside rattled and Gavin let his fingers travel over the different kinds of feathers. "For more practice because you need it. Maybe not on the castle though."

Right. Gavin looked up but the crack was already gone.

Would Ryan get angry at them? No, he didn't think so, but he could hear his sigh in his mind.

Michael thumped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Come, let's go inside. I have some more gear for you."

Ryan took a close look at the arrow. It looked like a completely average arrow but it had ripped straight through the crystal walls of his castle until it had uselessly clattered over the floor. The tip was golden now and still a bit warm. When he thumbed over it, it nicked his finger but his skin closed again before any blood could well up.

"I'm really sorry," Gavin assured him for the tenth time, and again Ryan brushed it off.

"I'm not mad at you." He wasn't, not in the slightest. Fixing the outer wall and the window had only taken a minute; he was way more intrigued by Michael's weapons.

"I'll practice on some trees the next time or something."

"You'll burn the forest down. The crystals are a safe bet," Ryan told him. "But I can build you some kind of shooting range. That might be better than the castle."

"Please do!"

Ryan put the arrow back down onto the bed. They had retreated back into Gavin's room up in the tower to check on Michael's gifts, and Ryan had some mixed feelings about the picture in front of him.

On the bed wasn't just the quiver with new arrows and the bow, but armor. The armor was of the same midnight blue as the bow and it looked like the strange material as well. Even though it appeared to be crystal it looked flexible enough to move freely. It wasn't something that Ryan had ever seen before and he had to hold back on dragging everything down into his lab. 

On the other hand, there was a small, jealous part that was well aware that Gavin had received a ton of gifts from someone else. Ryan had to force himself not to look too closely at how Gavin was holding up the breastplate for the tenth time. By the way Gavin was throwing him smirks that little shit knew fully well what he was doing.

Ryan decided not to amuse him and took the bow to investigate further, pointly turning away from the other God.

"Michael said we could alter our appearances to our liking," Gavin babbled on. "Have you ever done that?"

"Never found a need to. Appearances are unimportant."

He could hear Gavin sigh but he didn't care. He was way too preoccupied with the string of the bow, running his finger along it. It was perfectly smooth and when he pulled on it, it didn't cut into his fingers. Honestly he didn't have any practical experience with weapons, but he knew the theory of it and he could appreciate a well crafted bow like this.

He’d have to ask Michael about the technique and materials behind this one and see if he could recreate something similar to it.

"Ow, ow- Ryan!"

He turned at Gavin's call and had to laugh fondly. Gavin had pulled the breastplate over his head and appeared to be stuck. His arms flailed helplessly. He couldn't get a good grip to pull at the armor.

"How did you manage that?" Ryan asked as he got up from the bed.

"It's pulling on my hair!"

Sure enough a few strands of golden hair were tangled in the clasps of the armor and Ryan carefully pulled them free.

"Pretty sure you just open the clasps and then put the armor on. No need to pull it over your head," he explained and did just that.

"Well, I didn't know that, did I?"

"Now you do." Ryan fastened the breastplate around his torso and pulled his tunic straight. It wasn't his usual white one which was probably for the best. That one was so thin and flowy that it would just rip immediately. This one was sturdier and out of thick wool, not silk.

Something about it was off and Ryan took a step back to watch more closely. Gavin didn't seem to notice, he was already occupied with his leg straps and it actually took Ryan a minute to put his finger on it.

"I’ve never seen you wear anything that wasn't white or gold."

Gavin looked down at himself. Against his glow the blue looked pitch black and the contrast was new and foreign. There was also the fact that the armor was tight; it had to be to not get in the way of fighting, and Ryan couldn't help but lay a hand on Gavin's waist. His usual gowns kept his slim form hidden, but now everyone could see.

"I'm not sure if I can let you go outside like that."

"Oh, is that view only reserved for you?" Gavin teased and Ryan should tell him that of course that wasn't the case. That Gavin could do whatever the fuck he wanted, but that wouldn't get past his clenched teeth.

"Exactly."

Gavin started to laugh and even dared to snake an arm around Ryan's shoulder, pulling him close. His eyes shone golden but there was that all too familiar dark spark inside as well.

"Didn't you just say that appearances aren't important?"

The armor was smooth under his fingers when Ryan let them travel downwards until they reached the lining of the breastplate. Beneath was just the sturdy fabric of the tunic and Ryan picked him up easily so that Gavin could wrap his legs around him.

"It looks like I was a fool before."

He threw the giggling Solar Queen onto the bed and then crawled in as well to bury the smaller form beneath him. Instantly Gavin's arms flew up to pull him down, his fingers buried in his hair like so often.

Ryan pressed kisses against his lips until they allowed him in. Gavin's legs fell open to let him in closer and the one strap of armor he had managed to pull on was whispering against Ryan's thigh. Deft fingers were working to get his hair out of the braid when they suddenly stopped.

Ryan froze immediately and sat up just in time to catch Gavin frown.

"Gav? Everything alright?"

"Wait a sec," Gavin mumbled and shifted around underneath him. Ryan made sure to keep his weight off of him and Gavin reached beneath himself to pull out the arrow from before.

"Ouch," he just said, and Ryan broke into fits of laughter.

"Ryan! Don't laugh, Ryan! I had an arrow in my ass, that's not funny!" Even as he said that, Gavin snickered himself and threw the arrow away. It hit the ground and rolled away harmlessly.

Ryan tried to stifle his laughter in the crook of Gavin's neck and could feel the other's snickering vibrate through both of them. In that moment everything else was unimportant.

Who cared that Gavin got gifts from someone else? Who cared about anything really when he had Gavin right here, next to him with his glow getting stronger with each laugh he let out?

"I love you." Ryan pressed a kiss to the column of his throat and ran his hand over the smooth armor, making sure it was still there. It would protect him out there and that was what mattered.

"You have to promise to be careful."

Gavin hummed, pleased over his concern and wrapped his arms around him to keep him as close as before.

"I'll return to you without a scratch, love. I always will."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Gods of Heart are the most bothersome," Michael told him, but he didn't look upset or angry. "Hard to lie to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Da bois finally go on their trip!

Chapter 5 

The air burned in Gavin‘s lungs and he took greedy breaths to enjoy the feeling. It was new and exciting and he closed his eyes to feel it more. Like ice inside of him that faded after a second, a sharp metallic taste that was foreign but not bad. It felt refreshing.

He didn‘t know coldness, not like this. There was Ryan of course, and Ryan was always cold against his body, but it wasn‘t the same. This was a natural coldness, it was meant to be and it felt cathartic, like it could burn every worry away.

The air felt thinner if that even made sense and with each breath he got the feeling that it went deeper into his lungs, spilling into his whole body. It didn‘t stay cold, nothing close to him ever did but it was the closest thing he could get.

"It‘s different, isn‘t it?" Michael asked, and Gavin opened his eyes again.

In front of them, the mountains stretched towards the sky. He couldn‘t even see the tips because clouds were hiding them, but to see the sharp rocks and cliffs was certainly different than the wide fields he knew.

"The air tastes like mint and smells like trees."

Michael snorted and began to walk. "If you say so, Queen."

Gavin hurried to follow him. The boots felt heavy on his feet because he wasn‘t used to them but they helped him find a grip when the path grew steeper. The wind blew around them and would‘ve ripped violently on his gown, but there was no chance for it to grip onto his clothes now. The thick cotton was held in place by his armor and only the arrows in his quiver moved slightly.

Michael quickly picked his way up the mountain as if he had walked the same path for years and Gavin made sure to mimic his steps while also taking in the view. They weren‘t super high up yet but he could see far from here. The villages nestled in the valley beneath and the long shadows the mountains cast over them all. It was the early afternoon but the sun was hidden behind the clouds. A wave from Gavin‘s hand and the light would break through, but he found no need for it. Somehow this silver light felt right today.

They entered a forest and the trees took his sight of the valley and he turned back around. Michael was a few steps ahead, a hawk sitting on his shoulder and Gavin had to grin.

When he looked closer there were more animals watching them and there was a mouse by his own boots, trying hard to keep up.

"Do you like animals, Michael?"

"Sure, I don‘t mind them." He shrugged, making the hawk flap their wings to keep seated.

"But you also hunt them."

"I hunt monsters, beasts, not necessarily animals. I only kill animals I have a use for or when someone is hungry. I don‘t enjoy mindless killing."

Gavin hurried to walk next to him and left his little mouse in the dust.

"The worlds you created... where they different from this one here?"

"Very!" Michael said. "My worlds were... wilderness. I just let things grow and develop and be. Some called that lazy, and maybe that‘s true, but I don‘t give a fuck." He shrugged again and this time the hawk flew away to watch them from above. "I prefer magic because it feels right to me, so there wasn‘t much technology at first, but I had elves and portals and creatures. The forests and jungles were so deep that many people got lost forever in them, but inside there were secrets and riches and adventures, so there were always humans looking for them. It was fun to watch them try and then add new treasures when the ones I had placed were gone. The world was like a big game!"

"That does sound fun!"

"Oh, you have no idea! You should‘ve seen the place once the Goddess of Chaos came along." He laughed to himself and for a moment he remembered it so vividly that Gavin could feel the memory in between them. The laughter and the thick black woods beneath their feet with creatures unimaginable inside.

"Is she nice?"

"Linds? She‘s the best! Total nutjob, but I mean; she is the Goddess of Chaos and all, but still. I never saw a world she created and that‘s probably for the best."

"Did you ever meet bad Gods? Like the God of Death or something?"

"The God of Death is a chill dude. Death isn‘t something bad in the first place but you really shouldn‘t think that whatever they are Gods of determine if they are good or bad. Assholes come in all shades and the worst are those with good intentions."

Gavin quickly pressed his lips together before he could say something stupid again. He felt chastised, but Michael didn‘t seem mad.

"You know who‘s a right motherfucker? God of Wishes and Dreams."

"They don‘t sound too bad."

"Biggest asshole out there," Michael assured him. "Even though that‘s probably not very fair. First time I met him they really were scum, but then I didn‘t see them for a few worlds. Next time we ran into each other they seemed... nicer? Maybe? They said they found a friend but I don‘t think they are capable of that. But what do I know?”

Gavin hummed and stopped in his tracks when Michael lifted his hand. There was a stream next to the path and Michael promptly jumped over it. When Gavin followed him, Michael steadied him and then pointed up the steep cliffside.

"Let‘s make up some ground."

They had to climb but Gavin found he didn‘t mind too much. The rocks felt rough underneath his hand and sometimes cut into his skin but it didn‘t hurt. It felt good moving his body like this and whenever he couldn't pull himself up, Michael easily hauled him over the ledge. He looked pretty proud of that.

It was fun. Gavin‘s lungs burned and his arms shook after a while, but there were flowers sprouting through the stone where he rested his hands or in between the cracks he held on to.

He finally heaved himself onto a small plateau and let himself drop onto his back. His heart was beating wildly and as he looked up to the clouds, his field of vision seemed to pulsate. Everything inside was tingling and his muscles were shaking, but it felt good. He was sweating, which was a bit gross, but he couldn't care less.

Gavin breathed out and his breath instantly condensated. Laying here and catching his breath, he could feel the chill against his damp skin and that excited him. It felt like small needles; not quite painful, but nearly.

Next to him, Michael chuckled. The quiver and bow were digging uncomfortably into his back, but Gavin still grinned up to him. Michael didn't look fazed by the climb at all, his hair was a little ruffled, but that was about it. He had also sat down, the sword next to him.

"We're nearly at the snow line," he told him and Gavin bent his neck to look up the mountain. Laying on his back he saw everything upside down and felt a bit dizzy because of that, but sure enough there was the white line above them. It would still be quite a climb, but he couldn't wait.

He had seen snow before, mostly in books and while traveling in his mind, but he hadn't actually touched it. It didn't survive close to him but he knew this one would. Gavin could make it all melt, could drown every village on this mountain in snowmelt, but that wasn't what he wanted.

Sitting up, he was a bit surprised that they had left the trees beneath them. The plateau they were sitting on wasn't big, just a few steps in diameter, but from up here they had an amazing view over the valleys below. The people there must have given up hoping for some stray sunlight because while Gavin watched he could see more lights come on. The new electrical light Ryan had introduced years ago was safer to use, but Gavin still prefered torches and candles and their flickering warmth. It felt more natural to him, something he had grown up with but from up here any light was pretty.

There was a chain of lights quite a distance away in the south, searching for a way through the forest, and Gavin was pretty sure those were a group of nomads who were living on this mountain. He turned to ask Michael, but then he hesitated.

There was a heavy wave of déjà vu crashing over him as he watched Michael sit there, one leg dangling over the edge and the other pulled against his chest. It wasn't really a memory. It felt a bit different and he was wrecking his brain to pinpoint it.

He hadn't felt it himself, but he had seen it on Ryan's face, back when Gavin had shown him the farm for the first time. The field of sunflowers in particular. He could still feel the other's blue eyes in between his shoulders, could still hear his voice.

_ "You look beautiful here. Like this is right where you belong." _

That was it. Michael belonged here, no, everything here belonged  _ to  _ Michael. The cold air making their faces and hands flush and the dim light coming from the cover of clouds above. The snow in the air that couldn't quite settle on their shoulders yet.

Everything was right, like it was made just for this person.

"You were born here," Gavin blurted out and Michael's lips twitched. He let out a long breath.

"Not right here, but close enough. I was found in the wilderness of a mountainside and raised by a group of travelers," he admitted. "That was fun. I could play with the other kids and there were so many places to discover."

"An adventure."

"Oh, it certainly was! I knew there were other Gods out there, but I didn't want to search for them. That home was more exciting."

"How long did you stay with them?" Gavin asked.

"A long time. Longer than most other Gods probably stay, but I didn't care. In the end, it wasn't enough though. I always wanted more, to travel further, to hunt bigger beasts, to see the world. Things that grew too dangerous for my family, so I said goodbye."

"That hurts, leaving those you love behind," Gavin said. It was barely more than a breath to be ripped away by the wind up here, but Michael heard him and nodded.

"It was fine though. It was about time, and it was my decision, right?"

"You could still visit them as well!"

"I never did," Michael told him, and Gavin fell silent, surprised. He had expected Michael to drop by occasionally on his travels.

"Things got busy and time started to move so fast," Michael mumbled. "One day there was no one left that I knew, so there was no point in going back."

That wasn't it. That was an excuse and Gavin knew it, he could sense it. There was something more to it, something bitter. Guilt. Disgust.

"You didn't want them to see you again. They weren't supposed to find out what you'd become," Gavin told him without much thinking. He knew it deep inside, but just as quickly it was gone. It felt like being slapped on the hand and he actually jumped a little.

Michael had locked him out even though Gavin hadn't even noticed that he had been inside.

"Gods of Heart are the most bothersome," Michael told him, but he didn't look upset or angry. "Hard to lie to."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."

"My mistake for letting you in. You are fine-tuned for your age." He shook his head as if to snap out of old memories. "Long story short: the Gods reigning over that world were lazy. They were tired and old and taking care of a new God was bothersome. They knew they had to of course and in the end they did. I was trained properly after... after I was deemed worthy."

He huffed, making fog trail upwards and again Gavin could feel the bitterness come from him. He didn't like it, but before he could say something Michael got up.

"Come on, let's get to that snow." He held out his hand, but Gavin didn't yet take it. Michael's smile was a mask just like all the others hanging in his room and they both knew it. To bring back such painful memories hadn't been his intention, but Michael was faster than him.

"Lamenting about my past won't help me. I've learned that not all adventures turn out fine, that sometimes you lose things that are irreplaceable, and now I have to live with that. I  _ can  _ live with it." His hand was still outstretched. "This adventure, though, will be a good one. Can you feel it as well?"

He could and so Gavin took his hand and let the other pull him up.

Snow was cold and beautiful and perfectly white. It melted around his hand when he touched it and left his skin cold until the sun inside his chest warmed it again. It was exhilarating.

Michael was crouched next to him and made no move to touch the snow. Instead he was laughing his ass off because Gavin's whole body was smoking in the cold air. It looked ridiculous and once Gavin noticed, he had to giggle himself.

Michael initiated an impromptu snowball fight and for a while it felt like childhood again. There weren't any fields to run through and play hide and seek, but there were some resolute bushes to use for cover and the endless white blanket all around. Their voices echoed in between the cliffs like ghosts and there was no one else around. Gavin could feel not a single human for miles around and that was also exciting. For a while he and Michael were the only ones in this world.

Nightfall came fast up here and sooner rather than later Michael lead him back down. Not too far, just away from the snow and the harsh wind. Did Michael feel cold? His face was flushed just like his bare hands, but he wasn't shivering. Maybe that was just something he had adapted to during childhood. With Gavin's light, they didn't have to worry about twisting their ankles or falling down, but Gavin didn't bother protesting.

He felt exhausted in a good way. His body was distantly aching even though that was stupid, he recovered from anything, but it was still there. Maybe it was also something he had learned in childhood and kept close to his heart. He could still remember how Geoff and Jack had to stretch their backs after a day on the field, how tired they had been afterward.

It wouldn't have been hard to hire a helping hand or twenty, everyone wanted to be close to the farm and close to him, but that was his little safe haven. He didn't want anyone too close and so Geoff and Jack had done most of the work on their own.

Up here on this mountain, everything looked like a completely different world, and it made him strangely melancholic. That was probably why he began to talk about his home, the farm, and his parents. That and because Michael had told him about his. That was only fair.

And Michael listened. He didn't comment on much or interrupted him, but he hummed along. He led them to a small wooden area where they found a little shelter and sat down with his back against a tree.

"I'm glad Ryan let you have that," he finally said. "He takes good care of you. If you know what I mean."

"Oh shut up."

Michael snickered and Gavin rolled his eyes. Still-

"Ryan is doing great. He sometimes just worries too much."

Michael hummed again and when Gavin looked towards him, he could find him pondering over something. He had his sword by his side again and had picked up a stick, carving lines into the frozen ground.

"The relationship between a God and their protége can turn very abusive," he finally said. "As a newborn God you can get ripped away from all you've known and be thrown into this new role. Then the only ones around you are Gods who are so much older and more experienced than you. Some find it funny to antagonize the younger Gods."

The stick broke in his hand and Michael stared down on it before throwing it away. "It happens way too often."

"Has it ever happened to you? Did you ever come to a world and see something like that?"

"Countless times. When there's a newborn God I usually try to get them on their own where they can talk freely. Make sure that things are alright."

Gavin breathed out. The air grew colder while Michael watched him now. That's what had happened, why Michael had asked him to come along. It felt weird being manipulated like that, but Gavin recognized the good intentions behind it all.

"Ryan is fantastic. He would never hurt me or anything like that. No matter what I do, he had my back. He even came to the farm with me to meet my parents - he cares," Gavin told him. He noticed how defensive he was getting, but he couldn't help it. It was Ryan, and Ryan had sat with him at the table for days and nights after Geoff and Jack had died. Completely silent, just to be there while he mourned. To think that Ryan would abuse him was absurd.

Thankfully Michael began to smile and his intense gaze wandered away from him.

"It's good then. I don't have to intervene."

"Have you before? Gotten wrapped up in such a mess?"

"I have quite the reputation of starting fights and rivalries for less." He said it with pride and Gavin's hostility melted away at that. No, there was no ill-will, Michael had just tried to protect the ones who needed it. Michael had just tried to look out for him.

"I'm sure it would be great to be your protége as well. It sounds like fun."

That made him laugh, but in Gavin's own glow he could see the other flush. It wasn't from the cold.

"I'd hope so, but I haven't yet found out. Never had a protége."

"Really? But you're so old!"

Michael shrugged. "I had a ton of pseudo ones if that counts? You have no idea how pissed off some Gods get when you take away what they consider is theirs, but I'm strong, I can take them all." He flexed his arm and Gavin had to laugh.

Yeah, he could see Michael walk up to an old God and just take their protége away. Somewhere safe, up a mountain like right here where there was no one but themselves. Where both of them could just breathe.

Darkness was coming down on them like a veil, strapped between the trees. In the distance, Gavin could see the shimmering of snow, but besides that, there wasn't much more, so Michael started to work on a fire.

Neither of them needed the warmth but according to him it wasn't a real adventure without a campfire, and Gavin liked the idea of one as well. It should've been easy because he could easily create enough heat to ignite the wood Michael brought, but Michael insisted on doing it the old fashioned way. It was a frustrating work and Gavin couldn't quite understand how Michael could stay this calm during it, but when the first flames finally started to come alive he thought he might understand. It was the payoff that made it worth it and somehow this fire burned brighter and was warmer than some of the others he had seen.

There were animals around, he could hear them, and more than once some came to visit them. There was a deer resting just outside of their island of light and a raccoon had curled itself up in Gavin's lap. A fox was sitting proudly next to Michael. Their fur was as white as the snow on the highest peak of the mountain.

"Are those your messengers?" Gavin asked after a while. There was an intelligence in their eyes that wasn't normal. "I thought birds are preferred?"

"I don't use them often to deliver messages," Michael admitted and reached out to card through the thick fur. "If I have something to talk about I usually just go and do it myself, kinda part of the traveling thing, you know? But foxes are great companions."

Gavin got up from where he had been resting against a tree, moving the raccoon, and came closer. The fox was watching him but didn't react when he offered his hand.

"I couldn't decide for the longest time," Gavin told him as he let his hand drop by his side again. If the fox didn't want to be pet he wouldn't insist. "During my studies I came across a creature called a phoenix. Have you ever met one?"

Michael nodded. "They are rare. They can only survive on magic, so they only exist in worlds like that, but even then it's hard to find them. Huge things because they grow their whole life and they live as long as they want to until they decide they want to die. Humans start to hunt them once they hear of their existence, that's something that stays the same no matter which world I have visited."

"Why?"

"Humans believe carrying the feather of a phoenix will prevent death, which is bullshit. Death comes when it pleases, but humans will think of things like that all the time. Unicorns make your beautiful, a Nachtalb will haunt your enemies, and dragons make you invincible. But that's beside the point. There is no magic here, so no phoenix can exist."

"That's what Ryan said as well and I was quite sad about it. They sound amazing." Gavin laughed. "So Ryan created something that's close to it. A bird that doesn't carry fire in their feathers but instead gold and long tail feathers that leave streaks of light behind. I love them!"

"How romantic," Michael teased, but it was without ill-will. He gave the fox a quick pat and they hurried off into the bushes around.

"I wanted to call them Goldix, like a phoenix but with gold, you know? But Ryan sai-" Gavin traveled off because now Michael getting up as well and put a steady hand on his shoulder.

"You should be glad that you're a God because you are not very attentive," he told him and pushed him to his side.

"What do you mean?" But now that Gavin was paying attention, he already knew what it was. It was quiet besides the crackling of their fire, no noise from any animal like there had been before. When he looked around the deer was also gone and his raccoon friend was nowhere to be seen.

"What is-"

There was a pair of glowing eyes peeking out of the darkness and Gavin fell silent. He was mesmerized by them, at least until Michael picked up his sword. Right, his weapon-

The moment he turned his back, the beast charged. Michael stepped in its way and took the brunt of the attack, he barely budged where he stood.

The beast had black fur, perfect for hunting in the dark, and the way it moved reminded him of a cat. A very, very big cat. Their claws were as long as Gavin's whole hand and had ripped stripes into Michael's arms.

Michael didn't seem to notice them, he just calmly pulled his sword from its sheath. "They hunt in packs."

Gavin tried to process that information, but he was still staring at the bright red blood that dripped from the gashes in Michael's arms. It turned his stomach and Gavin made a step towards him. His glow could take the pain away and even though Michael didn't seem to be bothered - it surely had to hurt!

Something heavy crashed into his back and Gavin hit the ground. He could feel the bones in his shoulder shatter under the weight and cried out in pain. Just for a second before his body already rearranged itself, healing any damage, but that was enough for claws to scrape over his back. The armor took the worst of it but it still took his breath away by sheer force.

Then blood. Heavy and red and metallic as it rained over the ground. Michael had turned around and had taken the head of the beast straight off with a mighty swing. He gave the corpse a kick before it could bury Gavin under its weight.

"Stand," Michael just told him. He didn't offer his hand or pull him up. "You've been gifted this life so fight for it."

And maybe for the first time Gavin understood what it meant to be alive. As he stared up to Michael who stood so proud above him, his blade drenched in red and fur he was very aware of his very own being. His heart was beating so violently that he feared it would give out and his lungs couldn't get enough air in. He didn't even need those things, nothing could truly hurt him, but the blood in his veins was pulsing and singing.

He wanted to live.

His bow laid beneath the tree he had leaned against before, and he had just forgotten it there. Something he was sure Michael wouldn't have done, no, Michael always had his sword with arm’s reach. Now he had learned his lesson.

Gavin rolled towards the tree and snatched his bow up before getting up. He barely had time to throw the quiver over his shoulder when he noticed another one of those beasts. There was one in plain view, but Michael was facing them. And the one stalking among the trees was difficult to see. Perfectly silent and with well-calculated movements, but their eyes had caught in the fire.

Gavin didn't even think about his training, he pulled an arrow and knocked it onto the bow like he had done nothing else in his whole life. The light in the arrowhead was an afterthought at most and when Gavin shot, it painted a bright streak through the night, not unlike a shooting star and buried itself in the eyes of the beast. 

It hit the ground unmoving.

Another one was coming from behind and he didn't manage to turn around in time. Sharp teeth tore into his arm and the pain was like a flare shooting through his body. This time he didn't let out a single noise, he just pulled out another arrow and slammed it into the muscled flank of the beast.

It let him go with a high yowl and Gavin took a few steps back before bringing up his bow again. His mauled arm protested for a moment before the muscles reconnected and he was able to pull the bowstring again.

The arrow hit the beast's throat and it only managed a few steps towards him before collapsing.

Gavin kept a close eye on it before looking around. Nothing else ambushed him, but only after he sent his light in between the trees and made sure, did he lower his weapon.

There was only Michael and Michael was taking a close look at him. He didn't say a thing and Gavin took the time to catch his breath again. There were four beasts dead by Michael's feet and for the first time Gavin took the time to truly look at them.

He wasn't wrong about them being cat-like creatures, but he had never seen such a big cat in his life. Standing on all fours the biggest one nearly reached his shoulder and they had been fast. Their fur was perfect for hunting in the night, pitch black and short, like the fur of a horse.

The one Gavin had shot down from the tree was smoking from its empty eye socket, but Gavin didn't find it in him to feel sorry. They had come after him and if he hadn't have been a God, he'd be dead.

There were humans living close by, and how scary those beasts would be in the night! How courageous the hunters were, going into the woods to bring back food and hoping not to encounter a beast like that.

That reminded him of Michael and Gavin looked back towards him. Michael didn't move, he was watching him too closely, and Gavin could see blood on him, splattered on his face and his armor. He himself probably didn't look any better.

"Looks like there's actually some fight in that little sunflower," Michael said, and Gavin realized he was still holding onto the bow. His other hand had already pulled the next arrow halfway from his quiver in case there was something else out there coming for him.

"There's no danger anymore," Michael assured him and sheathed his sword. "We fought them off."

Then why couldn't Gavin let go of his weapon? His eyes were still darting to the trees around. This area of the woods was now brightly lit thanks to him and he had to force himself to call his orbs back before something caught fire.

When Michael touched him, he actually jumped and nearly stabbed him with an arrow. By the way Michael grinned at him he wouldn't have minded in the slightest, like he had actually expected it.

"Good?" he asked, and Gavin stared at him. His mouth was dry and he could smell blood. It was coming from the drenched ground and even worse from his own soaked clothes and Michael's armor. It should disgust him, this whole situation should, but he couldn't bring himself to feel so.

No, he just mimicked Michael's wild grin and saw how the eyes of the other burned brighter.

"Better than good."

Ryan was bent over his lab table when he felt Gavin return. That was surprising, he had expected both of them to take longer on their trip, it only grew worse when Gavin actually stepped inside. 

"Is that blood?" Ryan blurted out. He tried to process the picture in front of him, but it was hard. Gavin who usually wore flowy gowns, nothing, or was otherwise immaculately kept together, looked like a stranger. His armor was dirty and banged up, his hair was standing every which way and there were dark streaks on his face as if he'd rolled around on the ground. Worst of all was the blood splattered on him, and Ryan already raised his hands, ready to search for an injury.

He didn't even manage to touch him before Gavin had crossed the distance in two quick steps and crashed their lips together. The Solar Queen was emitting such a heat that Ryan actually flinched back, but he wasn't allowed the distance. Two arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in again until they were pressed together and he grasped Gavin's shoulder to push him away.

"Gav-"

The Solar Queen was vibrating under his touch and the sun in his chest was burning so brightly that it was breaking through his skin in some places. He looked annoyed at being denied, but he gave Ryan the moment to check him over.

Against his tan the blood looked pale and when Ryan touched it, it was already long dry. it still left him uneasy and Gavin had to be able to tell because he gently took his hand in his and pressed a kiss to his palm.

"I returned without a scratch, just as I promised," he assured him. "This isn't my blood, not anymore. It's from the beasts I killed."

He pushed in more insistently, but that wasn't even necessary. Looking at his little Solar Queen who looked like he came straight out of hell left him helpless and he gave in until his back hit the table he had just been working at.

"The first one I hit right in the eye," Gavin continued, pressed against him. "I burned its brain out before it could even attack. The second one got me a bit-"

Ryan made a concerned noise that made Gavin laugh. A bit of his harsh glow dimmed with it as he reached up to pull Ryan's long hair free.

"I stabbed it and then I shot it. It bled out at my feet."

He kissed him again, harder this time and Ryan indulge him. It was intoxicating, the faint metallic scent of blood, the stronger one of pines and the wood floor and cold air and of course Gavin. Gavin warm and insistent against him with his clever fingers pulling at his hair and his armor smoothing over his own clothes.

Everything else could wait.

He found Michael sitting on a patch of grass outside of his castle and for a while Ryan debated if he should even bother him. Michael was hunched over something that looked strangely like bones, but though he looked busy - he had probably already noticed him - so Ryan stepped towards him.

Michael had washed up because Ryan didn't see so much as a fleck of dirt on him. Next to the bones and fur, there was also his own armor shining in the sun. He must have cleaned it carefully, and without it, he looked smaller, younger somehow.

"Are you coming to beat me up or something?" Michael asked as he fiddled with a string. He managed to knot it onto a bone piece before looking up at him. Blinking against the sun, Michael smirked. "I guess not. Your hair is really blonde today, looks like you made sure that Gavin was in one piece after all."

Ryan decided to ignore the obvious attempt to rile him up. "What are you doing?"

"Taking care of my gear of course. I'll show Gavin how it's done later," Michael told him before hesitating and reaching out to the black fur next to him. "I'm making new weapons for him as well, if that's what you want to know. His first kill and such a clean one, not a rip in the fur. It would be a waste to let it go to waste."

"Are the bones also from the beast?"

"Yeah, they are not perfect for a bow but I'll make it work. The rest could fill a quiver with nice new arrows."

"That's a lot of work."

"If there's one thing I have it's time on my hands. Sit down."

Ryan had just waited for the invitation. His hand brushed over the fur and he was surprised how smooth it was. Yeah, Gavin would like it as a cloak. He would maybe even keep the dark color because Ryan could see him wearing it for traveling. For a time when he wasn't the worshipped Solar Queen, but a most powerful God of the Sun. Something that Ryan should've assured him of more.

"You're doing fine," Michael told him off handedly. He had a pile of small bones in front of him and was picking them up one by one to investigate them closer. "I was a bit of an asshole to you before, sorry about that, but I heard about your reputation from the humans around here. The beloved Solar Queen and the ruthless Dark God and then to have Gavin so nervous that I could feel it everywhere in this world? I had to make sure that Gavin was alright."

Gavin had told him a bit about that in the lab and Ryan could accept that he had been distrusted and tested. It wouldn't be the first time. "You acted without ill will, so did I in training Gavin. I would never let harm come to him."

"You love him." Michael threw a sharp looking bone on one pile and took the next one without looking up to him.

"I do."

"Then keep that feeling close to your heart and make sure you protect him." Michael hesitated, another bone in his hand. He was rolling it around, deep in thought before he muttered, "Take this as a warning: Young Gods can be killed."

For a moment Ryan could just sit there and stare at him. That was an outrageous claim and he wanted to laugh it off, but Michael didn't look like he was making a joke.

"What are you talking about? Gavin is a God and once a God exists they will for eternity."

"I’ve seen Gods get killed before," Michael said bluntly. "Their bodies can't die like that of a human, that's true, but their minds can wither like a flower without sunlight. They just... sit down somewhere and stop until one day they are gone."

He gripped the piece of bone tightly in his hand and Ryan's first instinct was to slap it out of his hand. Surely the sharp edges had to hurt, but all in all that wasn't what he was truly concerned about. No, the picture Michael had painted for him had been too familiar.

After Geoff and Jack had died he had found Gavin in their old kitchen, sitting by the table as if he was waiting for lunch. Getting him to talk had been a challenge and Ryan could clearly remember the four days without a sunrise in the world. Gavin had just stopped, but not for long, just to mourn until he had stood again. Even his glow had been gone and without it he had looked sad and small. Ryan had hated seeing him like that.

But not once had he worried that any harm would come to Gavin, least of all - die. That was impossible. 

Still, he didn't think Michael was lying to him.

"What did you see?" he asked instead, because if there was a chance, no matter how small, he needed to know.

Michael was watching him and when he prodded at Ryan’s mind, Ryan allowed him in. That was a bit eerie, usually he only let Gavin close or past Gods he had learned to trust. Michael hadn't been here long enough to earn that, but it wasn't about that. Michael didn't trust him either, and in the wrong hands, his knowledge would be dangerous.

Ryan wouldn't use it for any ill intent though, he wouldn't harm any new God. That had never been his intention.

"Your first world and your first protége," Michael mumbled. "My, you were so nervous about it all. So much responsibility on your shoulders and no one to turn to. And the humans? Oh, most of them feared you and you knew you shouldn't let the words close to your heart, but that's much easier said than done."

Ryan tried his hardest not to shiver, to not clamp down and lock Michael out, but he managed. That had been long ago and things had changed for the better afterward. Those wounds were nearly healed.

"It's rare that such a young God gets such heavy responsibilities." He could feel how Michael pulled back and left his mind alone. Whatever the other God had found, it made him talk.

"The world I was born in was another rare case, an anomaly. When I was found in the snowy mountains, another God was also born on the other side of the world. There were two newborn Gods."

"I never heard of something like that."

"I only encountered it twice myself," Michael explained. "Usually in old worlds when there are enough Gods to take the new ones under their wings. I am sure you are aware that new Gods are usually raised and trained by more than one God."

"I myself was."

"Figured. I will from now one also help Gavin wherever I can until he reaches his full potential. That's part of our responsibility as Gods after all." Michael fell silent and looked out over the field. There was blood dripping from his clenched fist but when he opened it, his skin was intact. There was a fine dust though, the remains of the bones still covering his palm.

"The Gods in my world didn't think so," he continued. "A newborn God is work and time and commitment and neither of the Gods back then felt up for it. They were old, bitter, lazy, and then to have two new Gods thrown at them? How very horrible."

His voice was laced with poison and he was shaking slightly. Not from fear, but disgust, anger. Ryan was sure if one of those Gods was with them now, Michael wouldn't hesitate to rip their heads off. Maybe he already had in one of the other worlds out there.

"They said they would take one of us to train to reign over the world along with them. The stronger one," Michael whispered and Ryan felt dread starting to curl in the pit of his stomach. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going, but he didn't say a thing. This was Michael's story to tell.

"I was young, stupid and strong. Very strong and certainly much stronger than a God of Mind like the other guy. I went on my first real adventure to look for him and found him in a city far away from home." Michael brushed the dust from his hand, his eyes still looking for the horizon. "He wanted to talk, I wanted to fight. I won and felt like the king of the world. How very stupid of me, but-" He shrugged. "I was allowed to be a part of the circle of Gods and started my training, the other God was rejected and was left alone. That's how it was for a long, long time."

"He died?"

"Not at first. He came looking for us, saying that it was his right to learn, to sit upon the throne along with us, but he was sent away. Over and over again, and I loved it. I loved that I was the  _ chosen  _ one, the  _ stronger  _ one. It took me a long, long time to realize how wrong it was and by then he had stopped coming. I figured he'd given up and I was told to leave him be, but I couldn't. I got into a huge argument with the others and ran away to look for him. My training was far from over, but in my head I was certain I could train him, could help him somehow! But it was already too late."

Michael frowned and there was a memory hanging between them, a picture he painted with each word.

"This other God was sitting on a throne of makeshift iron and thorns. The city was still worshipping him and I think that's what kept him alive for so long, but the people told me he hadn't moved in generations. I could feel it, there was barely anything left in him. His powers had burned through him, leaving little behind. Something that still existed, but nothing that was alive. I tried to get him back, I sat there with him for a long time just talking. I tried to reach him in the ways I had learned, but there was just nothing left to communicate with."

Michael huffed and reached for another bone, one of the longer ones he had set aside for Gavin's bow. Ryan stopped him before he could break it as well, but he could feel the strength, the anger still burning beneath his skin.

"The people stopped worshipping their mute God and then he died. He was just gone one day. Disappeared. And then he was forgotten. All because I had won a fight in my favor."

"That wasn't your fault."

"I know, but I'm still angry about it, just like I was back then. I started a war against the other Gods, which was stupid and just brought more sorrow in the world, but I had to do it. I had to do something to not feel helpless anymore."

Yeah, Ryan had felt the bloodlust coming from Michael and it was a relief to know it wasn't directed at any of them. However, beneath all that was an underlying sadness, and no matter how much Michael wanted to deny it, the guilt he felt was barely bearable.

"This God is haunting me," he whispered, quieter than anything he had confessed before. A secret. "I see him in every world I live in. Never as a God. Just a human. Nobody has ever heard of a God like him either, but if he's out there I will find him. I have quite a bit to make up to him."

"I hope you will," Ryan told him and he meant it with all his heart. He knew Michael could tell because the other God smiled up to him, honest and glad. "This world is still young, there will be more Gods arriving over time. Maybe not the one you're looking for, but hopefully someone who knows him. Who can assure you that they are out there as a God. That you will meet him one day."

He finally let Michael go and he didn't reach for anything else to hurt or destroy. No, he just folded his hands in his lap and looked over the vast field around them, the flowers sprouting everywhere before he started to laugh.

"Looks like we are working for a common goal then," he said and there was something mischievous in his eyes. "You don't want this world to end to stay together with your little Solar Queen and I want this world to be the home to as many Gods as possible."

Ryan had to smile and offered his hand. "Then let's work hard to make this world a strong one, that can survive whatever hardships may come."

Michael grinned at him. Like this he looked boyish and young and there was no hint of the guilt from before. He took his hand without hesitation.

"Let's do that."

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a fun little ride and I hope you guys enjoyed it as well!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr and say hi!  
https://kahnah23.tumblr.com/


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